Quest 078

[primrosella]

[Attempted Private//Somewhat Hackable]

Most of the people on the Network seem to think today's curse has to do with telling the truth--and, more importantly, being made to tell the truth, whether one wants to or not. And it seems that even goes so far as the smallest fib; this morning I looked in the mirror and tried to say my eyes were green, but I couldn't manage to get the word out without changing it to 'blue'. So it seems I'm cursed today, too.

It's better than being stranded in the dark, thinking I'm about to be killed by a troll, of course. And I still don't know why that happened, or what it was that made me recall those memories so vividly. From what most other people said, it wasn't part of the curse--which means it was just me, and I don't know why it happened. But it's scared me something awful, now, as if the earthquake and all the other bad things happening around here weren't enough already.

I feel like I'm ruining a lot of things, lately. I've gone over my sleeping spell again and again, and I think I've finally determined what went wrong, but I still haven't tried casting it again, even though I know I should. I don't want to mess it up again and spend another--however long, sleeping in a cave. And I know I ought to keep trying and I shouldn't get discouraged, and that this is for Daddy and everyone at home, but...but it's been so nice to just get caught up in City things and keep busy and distract myself a little.

Of course, the City is a disaster in itself, in its own way. All these curses keep making me feel so...helpless. I couldn't stop Blue from handing his friend over to that witch because I did something foolish and got myself cursed when I know better, when I should've been more careful and I wasn't. And then the dreams--and I promised I'd stay with Cain, and then what happened? I got scared and ran away, and couldn't do a single thing to help. And then the earthquake hit, and then all that darkness--and what happened? I wandered outside and got lost and ended up causing a great deal of trouble for everyone because I was scared. And the theft Kurama suffered--suppose it happened while he was out finding me? Even more trouble I've caused.

And that's not even to mention the battle that happened, or the sickness people are speaking of now, or the kidnappings, or all the bad things that keep cropping up, and I can't fix any of them...and I know I shouldn't expect to be able to fix things like that, but just the same, I hate that I can't. It doesn't seem right that so many bad things are happening and I can't do a thing about them.

The tournament is tomorrow, though. That's something. And Neil's play, that will be fun, too. I'm not quite as nervous about that as I might've led Todd to believe, though. But he's so shy and it seems like he needs friends that he can talk to and sympathize with, so I don't mind fibbing a little, for his sake.

I don't like lying and I don't like liars, but I suppose that makes me a bit of a hypocrite, since lying is what kept me alive all those times I was faced with Lolotte. So sometimes it's necessary, and sometimes it's...not as bad as it could be, I suppose. But I still think the truth is better, most of the time.

...I tried to write that I wish I could go back to Daventry and get away from all this, but the curse wouldn't let me. Isn't that something...?

[/Private]

I do think that it's better to be honest whenever you can, but a curse like this is a little much, isn't it? If we were all made to only tell the truth, that would be one thing, but being compelled to tell the truth, even if we'd rather just remain silent and not answer at all...that's something else.

I'm equal parts excited and worried at the moment, I think. Excited because there are some lovely events coming up that I'm really looking forward to, and worried because it seems like we've been hit with a long string of bad things, all at once, and I hate when bad things happen to people. And I'm really very sorry about what happened the other day, when the curse of darkness hit; I feel awful about it and guilty for causing trouble for everyone, when I really ought to be able to take better care of myself.

Which reminds me--Kurama, if you have a moment to spare? I have something for you.

I thought about just curling up in bed and spending the whole day escaping into a few good books, but I've already missed plenty of days on my schedule, thanks to all the recent curses, and I doubt it'd even make me feel any better to do so, anyway. So I think I'm just going to go about my routine as usual and try to pretend I'm not nearly as worried or upset as I am.

...Oh, drat this curse.


[OOC: Oh, so cursed. Hit her if you want; she might attempt to get creative with evasive tactics if something comes up that she really doesn't want to confess. Also, post is kind of a placeholder; I'll be back in a little while. =D]

Comments

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

So you're cursed, huh?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I certainly am.

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

I'm really tempted to have fun with this.

[winewomenand]

Aren't you adorable. You sound just like a fairytale princess.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, you're half right, and thank you for the compliment, though I have a feeling you meant it in a patronizing way.

[winewomenand]

Because I did mean it in a patronizing way, but if you want to be complimented, that's fine by me. A blush suits a woman.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

There might be a curse, but the sun is out, at least, and it isn't raining, and there haven't been any earthquakes. Shall we have our shooting lesson today, at last?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I'd like that, yes. It's a problematic curse, but a bearable one, I suppose.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

It's better than some curses.

Besides, this way, if your technique is wrong, I won't mince words on correcting it. But if you do shoot well, you'll know my compliments are genuine.

[banditfox.livejournal.com]

Certainly. Do you have a particular time in mind?

[ooc: I may be a little unreliable tonight, but we can backdate if I disappear?]

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Sometime when you're hungry would be best. ...Drat it all.

[OOC: Backdating is always fine with me!]

[banditfox.livejournal.com]

Indeed? I am feeling peckish just now.

[ooc: Thank you!]

[had_not_lived]

Maybe the streak of bad stuff's over. Maybe our luck will change.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I hope you're right, but I'm not entirely sure if we'll be that lucky.

[had_not_lived]

I'm not, either. But I'm trying to be optimistic.

[princess-crow.livejournal.com]

My life was a lie. I have little fondness for compulsive liars after my dear Father, Rosella.

Why are you upset?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

A number of reasons. I feel ashamed about getting stranded in the dark the other day, and guilty that I've been taking time out to enjoy things in the City instead of working harder at fixing that sleeping spell I ruined last month, and I'm worried about all the bad things that have been happening in the City and feeling helpless because I can't fix any of them, even though I know there's no way I'd be able to.

[princess-crow.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should give up that sleeping spell and try something else, Rosella. I could teach you how to hypnotize.

sob. so late and crashing soon too >.>

[mumbled_truth]

I don't think anyone would tell you that you have to apologize for that. I mean, I'm just glad you got home safely.

sob indeed. but s'all good anyway!

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

No, I doubt they'd tell me, but I feel like I ought to anyway. I shouldn't haven gotten lost in the first place--or at least, I should've found a way to get myself home, rather than needing to be rescued.

[mumbled_truth]

I don't think it was your fault, though.

And... friends are there to help you, right? I'm sure -- Kurama, wasn't it?

...I'm sure he didn't mind.

[doujin-dork.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should stay away from the network.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

That sounds like a very wise idea, though I think it might be a bit easier said than done.

[horrible-protag.livejournal.com]

Oh, Rosella. Is something the matter? Perhaps I can be of assistance.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Hello, Captain Hammer--though I'll likely always secretly think of you as "Sir Mallet", I'm afraid. ...And something is the matter, yes.