Princess Rosella of Daventry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
primrosella) wrote2009-08-30 06:16 pm
primrosella) wrote2009-08-30 06:16 pm
Entry tags:
- augh seriously wtf,
- bad memories,
- bff =/= getting busy,
- curses suck,
- he doesn't look a thing like jesus,
- i'm sorry i can't be perfect,
- knights and ladies,
- next time be more careful,
- post curse,
- rosella's journal,
- rosella's thoughts on love,
- stronger now than yesterday,
- taking one for the team,
- the perils of being rosella
Quest 116
[Private//Hackable by Friends]
Well...it's been ten days now.
...I still don't know what to do.
I keep trying to think things through, to find a good answer and figure out how to put it to use, but whenever I try, it always seems like I arrive at the conclusion that saying what I did was an absolutely ridiculous idea and I really shouldn't have and honestly, I should've known better and why didn't I know better and--I don't know. I really don't, and sitting around letting my thoughts go around and around in circles isn't going to solve anything either.
Three boys, three roses. Pink, red, and orange. How funny that they all go in a line that way--will the next one be yellow, I wonder? Will there be a yellow at all? Neil was green, but that was different, and that skipped a color in the middle, anyway. And Neil has his own worries to deal with, he certainly doesn't need any of mine.
Pink. I was sitting in a tree on a warm August afternoon, and he made it appear for me, and I took it and held it and thought...well. I didn't know any better then, I don't think. I still expected things to work out the way they do at home, and he was so charming, and I just--I didn't know. But I learned, didn't I? Things went wrong and I realized afterward that I hadn't known the whole story after all, and there was another girl, and I'd been foolish all along and I shouldn't have--mm. I shouldn't have trusted that it would all work out on its own, I think. That was when I learned not to hold a curse against someone.
The pink rose is a memory that things aren't always what they seem.
Red. I don't remember how I came about this one, but I know what happened before and after, and I remember why I don't remember it. Red was Valentine's Day, and I remember I was so happy, and there was a ball to go to--Blair's red rose ball. I had a modern dress to wear and glass slippers and I went with Blue, who was heartbrokentoo, and Mikaela was here and she went with Sam and they had a lovely time together. And that was strange, getting used to Mikaela, since I'd heard so much about her but then I really got to meet her in person, and she came to live with us and I wasn't sure what to think about her, really. But she turned out to be just lovely, and she meant so much to Sam, and things got better went on. And I don't remember where this rose came from because it was one of the most precious memories I had, and I gave it away for something equally valuable.
The red rose is a memory that everything changes.
Orange. This is the rose that doesn't belong to me, exactly, but to a girl that I might've been. And how happy she was when she got it, too--everything in the world was going right for her, just then. She'd done well in school and she had a beautiful dress and a party to attend and a charming escort, and it was almost like a fairy tale in itself, despite the setting. Wasn't it? And then she realized that she hadn't known the whole story after all, and there was another girl, and she'd been foolish all along and she shouldn't have...mm, it's strange, how some things never change, isn't it? But she was a good girl, wasn't she? She knew the right thing to do and she did it, no matter what it meant for her or anyone else. She was a good girl.
The orange rose is a memory that some things are more important than oneself.
What do I do? What can I do? I can't take it back now. I can't fix it, I have to keep going on forward.But Sam's doing everything he can to put my feelings before his own, and he's determined to convince me to see this out, and I don't want him to get hurt but I don't see how he can't, what with this mess and that and--
One thing I've been wondering, all this time, is if all this trouble is all really worth it in the end. Which is an awful thing to wonder, I know, but...would it have been better if I hadn't said anything at all? I thought the right thing to do was be straightforward and confront things as soon as possible and be honest about them, and then it'd all work out from there, but...
...But then again, hiding things doesn't mean they go away, does it?
[/Private]
I, er, know this is rather late, since it's been quite a few days now, but I'm terribly sorry to anyone I might've worried by the, er, way I was acting the other day, during the machine curse. I'm fine, don't worry, I just...don't like machines very much, that's all. But I'm just fine now, and I managed all right that day, and with any luck, that curse won't come up again.
And now it seems we have a mountain, as well? I've heard talk that there are monsters on it, just like there are in the forest. I rather wonder if there are any Abominable Snowmen living up there. We have them in Daventry, up in the mountains, and they do tend to make things rather dangerous for anyone that might try to cross them. And then of course, there's always the problem of what lives under the mountains as well--trolls, for example, seem to favor caves beneath mountains very much. Well, and bridges, too, but it's considerably harder to get a goat to follow you down into a cave in a mountain, so it's much more difficult to deal with trolls in mountains than it is trolls around bridges.
Still, I rather want to go explore it, sometime. It seems to be staying put rather nicely, and there haven't been any great upheavals or plagues or swarms of monsters invading the City from it--yet--so maybe it's just a change of scenery, after all. Do you suppose we ought to name it? On the other hand, we don't really have a name for the City, I suppose, other than "The City", so perhaps it'd be fitting to just call it "The Mountain", and keep with that pattern of naming things. It's not as though it's exactly difficult to figure out which mountain we're referring to by it, after all.
I could do it if I were a bird. It'd make things a hundred times easier, being able to fly across the mountain rather than climbing it on foot. Like having the flying monkeys carry me up to Lolotte's castle. I wonder...
Neil, I'm afraid I'm still working on thinking my way through that mystery we were discussing. I keep jotting down notes and things every time I think I come up with something clever, but other than that I haven't gotten much of anywhere with it. Cain said he'd help to come up with a good story, and I'm sure once we have the basics we can just alter things to make it fit for our purposes, but other than that I'm a little...stuck.
I can hardly believe it's almost September already. Where did the time go?
[OOC: Still faking it like it's hot, and getting better at it, too. Also, my HMD thread is over here, for anybody that might've wanted it and missed it. ♥]
Well...it's been ten days now.
...I still don't know what to do.
I keep trying to think things through, to find a good answer and figure out how to put it to use, but whenever I try, it always seems like I arrive at the conclusion that saying what I did was an absolutely ridiculous idea and I really shouldn't have and honestly, I should've known better and why didn't I know better and--I don't know. I really don't, and sitting around letting my thoughts go around and around in circles isn't going to solve anything either.
Three boys, three roses. Pink, red, and orange. How funny that they all go in a line that way--will the next one be yellow, I wonder? Will there be a yellow at all? Neil was green, but that was different, and that skipped a color in the middle, anyway. And Neil has his own worries to deal with, he certainly doesn't need any of mine.
Pink. I was sitting in a tree on a warm August afternoon, and he made it appear for me, and I took it and held it and thought...well. I didn't know any better then, I don't think. I still expected things to work out the way they do at home, and he was so charming, and I just--I didn't know. But I learned, didn't I? Things went wrong and I realized afterward that I hadn't known the whole story after all, and there was another girl, and I'd been foolish all along and I shouldn't have--mm. I shouldn't have trusted that it would all work out on its own, I think. That was when I learned not to hold a curse against someone.
The pink rose is a memory that things aren't always what they seem.
Red. I don't remember how I came about this one, but I know what happened before and after, and I remember why I don't remember it. Red was Valentine's Day, and I remember I was so happy, and there was a ball to go to--Blair's red rose ball. I had a modern dress to wear and glass slippers and I went with Blue, who was heartbroken
The red rose is a memory that everything changes.
Orange. This is the rose that doesn't belong to me, exactly, but to a girl that I might've been. And how happy she was when she got it, too--everything in the world was going right for her, just then. She'd done well in school and she had a beautiful dress and a party to attend and a charming escort, and it was almost like a fairy tale in itself, despite the setting. Wasn't it? And then she realized that she hadn't known the whole story after all, and there was another girl, and she'd been foolish all along and she shouldn't have...mm, it's strange, how some things never change, isn't it? But she was a good girl, wasn't she? She knew the right thing to do and she did it, no matter what it meant for her or anyone else. She was a good girl.
The orange rose is a memory that some things are more important than oneself.
What do I do? What can I do? I can't take it back now. I can't fix it, I have to keep going on forward.
One thing I've been wondering, all this time, is if all this trouble is all really worth it in the end. Which is an awful thing to wonder, I know, but...would it have been better if I hadn't said anything at all? I thought the right thing to do was be straightforward and confront things as soon as possible and be honest about them, and then it'd all work out from there, but...
...But then again, hiding things doesn't mean they go away, does it?
[/Private]
I, er, know this is rather late, since it's been quite a few days now, but I'm terribly sorry to anyone I might've worried by the, er, way I was acting the other day, during the machine curse. I'm fine, don't worry, I just...don't like machines very much, that's all. But I'm just fine now, and I managed all right that day, and with any luck, that curse won't come up again.
And now it seems we have a mountain, as well? I've heard talk that there are monsters on it, just like there are in the forest. I rather wonder if there are any Abominable Snowmen living up there. We have them in Daventry, up in the mountains, and they do tend to make things rather dangerous for anyone that might try to cross them. And then of course, there's always the problem of what lives under the mountains as well--trolls, for example, seem to favor caves beneath mountains very much. Well, and bridges, too, but it's considerably harder to get a goat to follow you down into a cave in a mountain, so it's much more difficult to deal with trolls in mountains than it is trolls around bridges.
Still, I rather want to go explore it, sometime. It seems to be staying put rather nicely, and there haven't been any great upheavals or plagues or swarms of monsters invading the City from it--yet--so maybe it's just a change of scenery, after all. Do you suppose we ought to name it? On the other hand, we don't really have a name for the City, I suppose, other than "The City", so perhaps it'd be fitting to just call it "The Mountain", and keep with that pattern of naming things. It's not as though it's exactly difficult to figure out which mountain we're referring to by it, after all.
Neil, I'm afraid I'm still working on thinking my way through that mystery we were discussing. I keep jotting down notes and things every time I think I come up with something clever, but other than that I haven't gotten much of anywhere with it. Cain said he'd help to come up with a good story, and I'm sure once we have the basics we can just alter things to make it fit for our purposes, but other than that I'm a little...stuck.
I can hardly believe it's almost September already. Where did the time go?
[OOC: Still faking it like it's hot, and getting better at it, too. Also, my HMD thread is over here, for anybody that might've wanted it and missed it. ♥]
[ Action ]
[She'll figure it out someday, once she's mulled it over and talked it out and gotten it straight in her head. But that's not what's important at the moment.
Is this how she looked herself, she wonders, during those curses when she'd given everything she could offer to help the two of them be happy?
Hard choices are hard for a reason, and sometimes you have to be selfish to be happy, and hard choices ought to be made because it's the right thing to do. And she has a feeling that maybe, just maybe, that's what Megumi is trying to do now. Hasn't she made enough hard choices in her life to know what goes into them, and how to recognize them?
Then it seems it's true, after all. She never wanted to hurt anyone, and all this time, that's what she's been doing.]
But I'm afraid there's one thing you're wrong about.
[And here is a wry smile of her own.]
I'm not his princess. I'm his friend, and sometimes his opponent, and other times his accomplice; I've been the optimist to his pessimist, and most of the time, I'm the one being hopeful while he's cynical. I'm the same as him in some ways, and I'm opposite him in others.
[She retrieves her own teacup, and pauses to take a sip, letting the words hang in the air as she considers her next ones.]
It was a foolish whim of mine, telling him he could call me that if he wanted. It...means something to me, and it meant something long before I ever met him. But every time he says it...no. No, I'm not his princess. Not yet, and perhaps not ever.
[And her wry smile grows, just a little.]
But that isn't what you meant, I don't think. So please don't think I don't understand, because I do. Or at least, I do a little better than I used to.
[ Action ]
I meant that in regards to the fact that he calls you that at all. But it's good to hear that you've found so much to relate with him.
[ Though it does surprise her, at the same time, to see that she's forged those bonds with Cain in the time that she has known him. It strikes her as odd, but at the same time-- if she can say it so confidently, then it's probably for the best though, isn't it? Especially if Cain likes it that way, likes her enough to call her "Princess" and that alone shows his level of confidence and friendship with her.
It would be heartwarming if it wasn't so bittersweet.
Smiling a bit, she lifts a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, and she nods to her, suddenly feeling a little exhausted. She's refusing to acknowledge why, and probably won't in Rosella's company-- that wouldn't be fair to her as her guest. ]
I hope, for your sake and his, everything works out as it ought to. I have faith you'll do the right thing, as will he.
[ She can't help but crack a slight grin. ]
If he doesn't mess it up, of course.
[ Because obviously, when is it ever the lady's fault anything goes wrong? ]
[ Action ]
There'll be plenty of time for thinking, later on.]
Whatever happens...it'll be all right. One way or another, it'll be all right in the end. I do believe that.
[And she does...in a sense. It'll be all right because she'll make it be all right, no matter what happens, and no matter how much she has to let herself get hurt to make it that way. But she won't let on any of that. She's getting very good at pretending these days, after all.]