Princess Rosella of Daventry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
primrosella) wrote2010-03-16 02:24 pm
primrosella) wrote2010-03-16 02:24 pm
Entry tags:
- augh seriously wtf,
- bad memories,
- brb having a breakdown,
- curse: ides of march,
- deadlier than cupid's bow,
- epic failure,
- everyone's dead and it's all my fault,
- everything is ruined forever,
- game over for rosella,
- h is for hypocrite,
- hex and the city,
- hit rock bottom; began to dig,
- little princess in a terrible mess,
- no no no no no no,
- post curse,
- really need a hug kthx,
- the perils of being rosella,
- time for some emo,
- trauma time is go
Quest 172
[Accidental Voice Post]
[The recording switches on to the sound of a Network device skittering across dirt and stone, as though it has just been shoved or kicked away and it has turned on of its own volition.
For a long time, the recording is silent, save for the faint sound of shuddering, irregular breaths and the occasional high, strangled whimper. After a minute or two, the owner of the voice breaks down into a few wretched sobs, and then after a short while they are suddenly muffled again. It's clear that someone is sitting nearby, crying her eyes out and trying to stifle it. It's equally clear she has no idea that the recording is on.
After about another minute, she manages to compose herself somewhat, and the scraping sound resumes; this time, she is sliding it back toward herself, and as she picks it up, she makes a small squeak of surprise when she realizes it is already on. With a resigned sigh, she swallows hard and begins to speak, her voice thin and trembling.]
I'm--I'm so sorry. About yesterday. I know it--it doesn't make things any better, just saying that, but--
[She sniffles, fabric rustling near the microphone as she wipes her eyes.]
I was--cursed and--and Sam was too, and we took the wrong devices, he took mine and I had his and we were both cursed and all those things I said, those horrible things--it wasn't me, it was Sam, but it wasn't Sam either because he wasn't himself and I wasn't myself and we just--I'm so sorry, please, please, I didn't--
[Her voice cracks.]
The--the things I said. I didn't. Those horrible things, I didn't mean them, not any of them. I didn't know what I was saying. I...I don't really think any of that, and I'm so sorry, everyone I talked to while I was pretending to be Sam--there was a girl, one of Sam's friends--I didn't know her name, I still don't, but please, miss, if you're listening, please don't be angry with Sam, it wasn't him--it wasn't, it was me, and I just didn't know--I didn't know your name, that's all...
[Her voice rises in pitch as she starts talking faster and faster, clearly about to lose it again but forcing herself to keep talking.]
Sam's not--I didn't mean it, please, it's all just a mistake and I was cursed and we--I didn't mean it, I didn't, I didn't, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing! I never--Sam, I'd never, I'd--I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never meant--I shouldn't have--
[She breaks off suddenly, choking down a sob, and takes a few shaking breaths to steady herself before she tries to continue.]
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I did it, I should've known better--I should've stopped myself and I didn't and now I can't--I can't stop seeing it, over and over, every time I close my eyes...
[As she breaks down once again, she fumbles with the device. Her fingers are trembling too hard to work the switch smoothly, but she eventually manages to get the feed turned off.]
[OOC: So, um, yeah. It wouldn't be the Ides of March without somebody literally getting stabbed in the back, right? Which...is basically exactly what Rosella and Sam did yesterday, just to bring their little war to a dramatic close. Both made good use of the death exemption and are totally alive and fine now, but...yeah, Rosella's still an emotional wreck over killing her best friend, and now she's hiding out in her cave in the woods being miserable and crying forever.
Feel free to action her up if your character would think to look for her out there (since it's an old standby hiding place of hers), but she's not particularly interested in leaving it at the moment. And of course, Network for everyone else.]
[The recording switches on to the sound of a Network device skittering across dirt and stone, as though it has just been shoved or kicked away and it has turned on of its own volition.
For a long time, the recording is silent, save for the faint sound of shuddering, irregular breaths and the occasional high, strangled whimper. After a minute or two, the owner of the voice breaks down into a few wretched sobs, and then after a short while they are suddenly muffled again. It's clear that someone is sitting nearby, crying her eyes out and trying to stifle it. It's equally clear she has no idea that the recording is on.
After about another minute, she manages to compose herself somewhat, and the scraping sound resumes; this time, she is sliding it back toward herself, and as she picks it up, she makes a small squeak of surprise when she realizes it is already on. With a resigned sigh, she swallows hard and begins to speak, her voice thin and trembling.]
I'm--I'm so sorry. About yesterday. I know it--it doesn't make things any better, just saying that, but--
[She sniffles, fabric rustling near the microphone as she wipes her eyes.]
I was--cursed and--and Sam was too, and we took the wrong devices, he took mine and I had his and we were both cursed and all those things I said, those horrible things--it wasn't me, it was Sam, but it wasn't Sam either because he wasn't himself and I wasn't myself and we just--I'm so sorry, please, please, I didn't--
[Her voice cracks.]
The--the things I said. I didn't. Those horrible things, I didn't mean them, not any of them. I didn't know what I was saying. I...I don't really think any of that, and I'm so sorry, everyone I talked to while I was pretending to be Sam--there was a girl, one of Sam's friends--I didn't know her name, I still don't, but please, miss, if you're listening, please don't be angry with Sam, it wasn't him--it wasn't, it was me, and I just didn't know--I didn't know your name, that's all...
[Her voice rises in pitch as she starts talking faster and faster, clearly about to lose it again but forcing herself to keep talking.]
Sam's not--I didn't mean it, please, it's all just a mistake and I was cursed and we--I didn't mean it, I didn't, I didn't, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing! I never--Sam, I'd never, I'd--I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never meant--I shouldn't have--
[She breaks off suddenly, choking down a sob, and takes a few shaking breaths to steady herself before she tries to continue.]
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I did it, I should've known better--I should've stopped myself and I didn't and now I can't--I can't stop seeing it, over and over, every time I close my eyes...
[As she breaks down once again, she fumbles with the device. Her fingers are trembling too hard to work the switch smoothly, but she eventually manages to get the feed turned off.]
[OOC: So, um, yeah. It wouldn't be the Ides of March without somebody literally getting stabbed in the back, right? Which...is basically exactly what Rosella and Sam did yesterday, just to bring their little war to a dramatic close. Both made good use of the death exemption and are totally alive and fine now, but...yeah, Rosella's still an emotional wreck over killing her best friend, and now she's hiding out in her cave in the woods being miserable and crying forever.
Feel free to action her up if your character would think to look for her out there (since it's an old standby hiding place of hers), but she's not particularly interested in leaving it at the moment. And of course, Network for everyone else.]
[Action]
Come on, Rosella.
[Action]
I can't. I...I don't want to, I don't want to do anything. I just want to take it all back...
[Action]
Sam is really worried about you.
[Action]
I couldn't stay there. Not after--not what I saw what we'd done. What I did. I didn't know what else to do and I just...came out here and...
[Action]
I know. I know.
[Action]
[She turns her face away, keeping her head down so her hair remains like a curtain around her face.]
Sam died because I didn't.
[Action]
[He pushes her hair away and looks at her for a long time]
Once I handed Kay over to the Snow Queen, you know.
[Action]
I remember. I was worried about you.
[Action]
Once I attacked Cori.
[He doesn't want to talk about it, but...]
I told him terrible things. The only reason I didn't kill him was because he was quick enough to get away. And I lov-[he swallows]-loved him.
[Action]
[And now, at last, she leans into his hold, resting her forehead on his shoulder.]
He was going around yesterday, saying all those things, p-pretending to be me and saying such horrible things, and I followed along after and told all my friends, I told them--I said of course it wasn't me, the real me wouldn't say those things, the real me would never treat her friends like that, wouldn't hurt anyone like that...and...
[Action]
No one is angry with you except you, Rosella. Sam is very worried about you. He even called me, you know? He wants you to be all right.
No one thinks you are cruel.
[Action]
[Her voice cracks.]
I can forgive anyone else but I can't do it this time. Not when it's me. Not when Sam died because of me.
[Action]
You killed someone, and that's a terrible thing to carry. And you shouldn't have to carry it.
[Action]
[Action]
You should forgive yourself.
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
[OOC: I'm assuming this thread takes place before her action with Sam, so she'll have to stay put for a while so he can get to her, too. Not sure how that thread's going to play out yet, though, so can I have her hit up Blue's phone post if she ends up needing to stay with him tonight?]
[Action]
[ooc: Blue can go back to go to work and stuff and then come back for her later if she wants?]
[Action]
[OOC: Sure, that'll work!]
[Action]
[Action]
[She manages a wry smile.]
But I am rather a mess, even so.
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
[Action]
: [Action]
[Action]