Princess Rosella of Daventry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
primrosella) wrote2010-03-16 02:24 pm
primrosella) wrote2010-03-16 02:24 pm
Entry tags:
- augh seriously wtf,
- bad memories,
- brb having a breakdown,
- curse: ides of march,
- deadlier than cupid's bow,
- epic failure,
- everyone's dead and it's all my fault,
- everything is ruined forever,
- game over for rosella,
- h is for hypocrite,
- hex and the city,
- hit rock bottom; began to dig,
- little princess in a terrible mess,
- no no no no no no,
- post curse,
- really need a hug kthx,
- the perils of being rosella,
- time for some emo,
- trauma time is go
Quest 172
[Accidental Voice Post]
[The recording switches on to the sound of a Network device skittering across dirt and stone, as though it has just been shoved or kicked away and it has turned on of its own volition.
For a long time, the recording is silent, save for the faint sound of shuddering, irregular breaths and the occasional high, strangled whimper. After a minute or two, the owner of the voice breaks down into a few wretched sobs, and then after a short while they are suddenly muffled again. It's clear that someone is sitting nearby, crying her eyes out and trying to stifle it. It's equally clear she has no idea that the recording is on.
After about another minute, she manages to compose herself somewhat, and the scraping sound resumes; this time, she is sliding it back toward herself, and as she picks it up, she makes a small squeak of surprise when she realizes it is already on. With a resigned sigh, she swallows hard and begins to speak, her voice thin and trembling.]
I'm--I'm so sorry. About yesterday. I know it--it doesn't make things any better, just saying that, but--
[She sniffles, fabric rustling near the microphone as she wipes her eyes.]
I was--cursed and--and Sam was too, and we took the wrong devices, he took mine and I had his and we were both cursed and all those things I said, those horrible things--it wasn't me, it was Sam, but it wasn't Sam either because he wasn't himself and I wasn't myself and we just--I'm so sorry, please, please, I didn't--
[Her voice cracks.]
The--the things I said. I didn't. Those horrible things, I didn't mean them, not any of them. I didn't know what I was saying. I...I don't really think any of that, and I'm so sorry, everyone I talked to while I was pretending to be Sam--there was a girl, one of Sam's friends--I didn't know her name, I still don't, but please, miss, if you're listening, please don't be angry with Sam, it wasn't him--it wasn't, it was me, and I just didn't know--I didn't know your name, that's all...
[Her voice rises in pitch as she starts talking faster and faster, clearly about to lose it again but forcing herself to keep talking.]
Sam's not--I didn't mean it, please, it's all just a mistake and I was cursed and we--I didn't mean it, I didn't, I didn't, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing! I never--Sam, I'd never, I'd--I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never meant--I shouldn't have--
[She breaks off suddenly, choking down a sob, and takes a few shaking breaths to steady herself before she tries to continue.]
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I did it, I should've known better--I should've stopped myself and I didn't and now I can't--I can't stop seeing it, over and over, every time I close my eyes...
[As she breaks down once again, she fumbles with the device. Her fingers are trembling too hard to work the switch smoothly, but she eventually manages to get the feed turned off.]
[OOC: So, um, yeah. It wouldn't be the Ides of March without somebody literally getting stabbed in the back, right? Which...is basically exactly what Rosella and Sam did yesterday, just to bring their little war to a dramatic close. Both made good use of the death exemption and are totally alive and fine now, but...yeah, Rosella's still an emotional wreck over killing her best friend, and now she's hiding out in her cave in the woods being miserable and crying forever.
Feel free to action her up if your character would think to look for her out there (since it's an old standby hiding place of hers), but she's not particularly interested in leaving it at the moment. And of course, Network for everyone else.]
[The recording switches on to the sound of a Network device skittering across dirt and stone, as though it has just been shoved or kicked away and it has turned on of its own volition.
For a long time, the recording is silent, save for the faint sound of shuddering, irregular breaths and the occasional high, strangled whimper. After a minute or two, the owner of the voice breaks down into a few wretched sobs, and then after a short while they are suddenly muffled again. It's clear that someone is sitting nearby, crying her eyes out and trying to stifle it. It's equally clear she has no idea that the recording is on.
After about another minute, she manages to compose herself somewhat, and the scraping sound resumes; this time, she is sliding it back toward herself, and as she picks it up, she makes a small squeak of surprise when she realizes it is already on. With a resigned sigh, she swallows hard and begins to speak, her voice thin and trembling.]
I'm--I'm so sorry. About yesterday. I know it--it doesn't make things any better, just saying that, but--
[She sniffles, fabric rustling near the microphone as she wipes her eyes.]
I was--cursed and--and Sam was too, and we took the wrong devices, he took mine and I had his and we were both cursed and all those things I said, those horrible things--it wasn't me, it was Sam, but it wasn't Sam either because he wasn't himself and I wasn't myself and we just--I'm so sorry, please, please, I didn't--
[Her voice cracks.]
The--the things I said. I didn't. Those horrible things, I didn't mean them, not any of them. I didn't know what I was saying. I...I don't really think any of that, and I'm so sorry, everyone I talked to while I was pretending to be Sam--there was a girl, one of Sam's friends--I didn't know her name, I still don't, but please, miss, if you're listening, please don't be angry with Sam, it wasn't him--it wasn't, it was me, and I just didn't know--I didn't know your name, that's all...
[Her voice rises in pitch as she starts talking faster and faster, clearly about to lose it again but forcing herself to keep talking.]
Sam's not--I didn't mean it, please, it's all just a mistake and I was cursed and we--I didn't mean it, I didn't, I didn't, I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing! I never--Sam, I'd never, I'd--I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never meant--I shouldn't have--
[She breaks off suddenly, choking down a sob, and takes a few shaking breaths to steady herself before she tries to continue.]
I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I did it, I should've known better--I should've stopped myself and I didn't and now I can't--I can't stop seeing it, over and over, every time I close my eyes...
[As she breaks down once again, she fumbles with the device. Her fingers are trembling too hard to work the switch smoothly, but she eventually manages to get the feed turned off.]
[OOC: So, um, yeah. It wouldn't be the Ides of March without somebody literally getting stabbed in the back, right? Which...is basically exactly what Rosella and Sam did yesterday, just to bring their little war to a dramatic close. Both made good use of the death exemption and are totally alive and fine now, but...yeah, Rosella's still an emotional wreck over killing her best friend, and now she's hiding out in her cave in the woods being miserable and crying forever.
Feel free to action her up if your character would think to look for her out there (since it's an old standby hiding place of hers), but she's not particularly interested in leaving it at the moment. And of course, Network for everyone else.]
[ Action ]
Lifting her knees slightly under her skirts to move her arms over, she watches her as she talks. When she's done, she looks back ahead of herself, considering. ]
How does it make it different from any other time that you're cursed into doing things you'd never do, though?
[ She's quietly glad she wasn't affected either-- who knows what would have come of that. ]
[ Action ]
[Which is a contradiction and she knows it, but it's a hard subject to put into words, when it's something so deeply ingrained into her beliefs.]
It's as though I'd killed my father. That's how it feels.
[And she can't help but wonder, as she glances up through weary eyes, if Megumi will be able to appreciate just how strong her abhorrence is at the very thought of that idea.]
[ Action ] ARGH so sorry for the slow, I haven't been home as much these last few days
It's an odd comparison, considering the fact that Rosella and Sam are as close as they are, from what she remembers of them at Thanksgiving, but... she can understand the sentiment. After a while, she nods, looking on ahead of herself again. ]
It's going to weigh on you for a while then, isn't it? But...
[ She shakes her head once. ]
I can't turn back time for you, but I can stay here until even this storm has passed, Rosella. Because really--
[ She pauses, chuckling to herself. ]
It's nice to see that there's someone still holding onto their morals in a place like this.