primrosella | Quest 053

[Attempted Private//Somewhat Hackable]

Well. I've been acting terribly silly lately, haven't I?

Yes, that's right. Terribly silly, and--selfish, and petty and ungrateful and I should be happy. That's right, that's the right thing to do. I should be happy that they're gone and not trapped here anymore. They belong at home and it's better this way and here I am, thinking of nothing but myself.

Selfish. I have a brother just my age, someone to talk to and be friends with and love, and what do I think? Horrible things--as though it were a competition with the kingdom as a prize. And I couldn't even see that until Romeo pointed it out--oh, honestly, what's wrong with me? It's as though I've been looking for reasons to dislike him. My own brother, and I...and what if it had been me? What if it were me and I came all that way just trying to get home and he thought of me the way I've thought of him?

Selfish! What a spoiled little girl I am, wanting everyon--everything all to myself. I wanted to dislike her before I even spoke with her--how awful is that? I made that promise knowing full well that something like this might come up, and now it has and--that's right, Rosella, that's why you ought to always say what you mean. Remember how Mother would say that? Don't lie, Rosella, you should always tell the truth. Be generous, Rosella, don't be selfish. Good things come to good girls, Rosella.

You've made your bed, Rosella, now lie in it.

No. No, no, no, it's not important, none of it is important, I shouldn't even be thinking of things like this. Selfish little girl, worrying about boys and balls when your family's going to be kidnapped and fed to a cat--and Daddy wasn't there, what's going to happen to him? What if your fruit didn't save him, after all?--no, no, no. I want to go home but I can't go home, not until I know how to save them, not until I can fix all this somehow...

I could trade it all for a magic wand. Would it be enough? All those thoughts...

No! I won't! I can't...stop it, stop it, what's wrong with me? I haven't acted like this since that curse--what would Daddy think, if he heard me saying things like that?

Stop it. Everything happens for a reason, and things always work out in the end, don't they? And it...it always gets better. Even if I'm not--however it is I ought to be. Even if they're better than me. That doesn't matter. I've just--I've just got to do the very best I can, and try as hard as I can, and that's all I can do, isn't it?

I promised I'd try to find something to smile about every day...I don't want to break that promise, you wouldn't like it if I did, would you? I miss you all so much...

[/Private]

...Goodness, I slept in late today. I must've been very tired; I do hope I'm not coming down with anything. Being sick a few months ago was more than enough illness for me, thank you very much.

I do wish I'd checked the Network earlier, though. I suppose I should've guessed that finding candy in my room was the cause of a curse ~~and not anything else~~. Are they all as sad as the ones I received, I wonder? I'm sorry, I promise I won't eat any more than I already have. I didn't realize. And if they're meant to be secrets...I won't tell. On my honor. ~~But that doesn't mean I won't worry, just the same.~~

Still...I know this is a very strange way to be introduced, but if someone by the name of the Tianzi should happen to read this, I'd like very much to speak with you, if you have a moment.

[OOC: Sad princess is sad--and hasn't come out of her room all day. And as if her own mood wasn't bad enough, she also got Rue's DESPAIR, Blue's HEARTBREAK, and Tianzi's INSECURITY, all in a row. So basically...yeah, she's not coming out.]

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[She wasn't expecting that response, and nearly dropped her tea all over herself because of it. Fortunately, she managed to catch herself, and just ended up staring at Sam, wide-eyed.]

I'd never!

Well you should! Rosella, you should go home to your family. They need you!

[Trembling, she just barely got the tea mug to an open space on her nighttable--which was a good thing, because with her hands shaking and her eyes filling with tears, holding a mug of hot liquid was not the best of ideas at that moment. Determined not to start crying again, she gritted her teeth and rubbed at her eyes to get rid of the tears before they could fall.]

Don't do this. Don't--don't make me try to choose, don't make me try to decide what's more important, not now, not after--I know they need me! Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I think about it every day, how it sounded when he threatened to feed my mother to a cat? I can't--why would you say that? Isn't it an awful enough choice I have to make already, without you telling me to forget you and go away?

[Sam was a bit taken aback by her words. He quickly put his cup down. He moved to hug her but then decided against it since he wasn't sure if she wanted that just now.]

Whoa, whoa, whoa... I just meant in a general "You're so amazing that your family needs you" type way. I just... I want you to know that it's more important to me that you do what's important to help people and what's important to you than the fact that I don't want you to forget me.

[She didn't speak until she'd gotten control of herself again, and didn't look up until she was sure she'd stopped crying. On what was already a miserable day, the thought of having to give up all memory of her best friend--and more importantly, being told to do it by said best friend himself--was just a bit too much. But no, she'd been wrong, and that made her feel a little better again.]

I know...but it's important enough to me to find a way that won't force me to choose. If it's a solution that makes me pick between you and my family...it's not a very good solution. I'd never forgive myself. If I forgot...no, I couldn't, I just couldn't.

[Sam really wished he hadn't said anything. Things hadn't come out exactly how he wanted them to. Or even close to how he wanted them to.]</small. No, it's not a good solution at all. And I'd never give up memories of you to get home so I guess it's kind of hypocritical advice.

[She bit her lip, chewing absently as she thought.]

I won't forget you. I'll just...have to find a way that means I won't have to. And if time won't pass for them until I do...then I've got all the time in the world to find one, haven't I?

[Sam gave a bit of a nod.]

Alright, we'll find some other way to get home then.

Quest 053

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