Princess Rosella of Daventry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
primrosella) wrote2009-06-29 06:33 pm
primrosella) wrote2009-06-29 06:33 pm
Quest 097
[Private//Hackable by Friends]
He's back. He's really back. I kept an eye on him for the whole weekend and now it's Monday and he's still here, so the worry that it might've just been one of those weekend curses, bringing him back and keeping him here for the duration, the way those visitors do sometimes...but it wasn't. I checked and double-checked and triple-checked, and he's still here.
Maybe it's selfish to be so happy that he's trapped here again, when he could be at home with his family and friends and going to his college, but I don't care, not this time. This time I'm going to be selfish and happy and I'm so glad he's back!
I am sorry, though, that Mikaela didn't come back with him.
It's a little strange to think back how jealous I was of her just a few months ago, back when she first arrived. But who wouldn't be, next to someone as lovely and intelligent and confident and modern as she was? And Sam thought so highly of her, too, and I was certainly jealous of that. It's a bit silly, almost, to listen to him speak of her--really, you'd think she was Venus herself, and he merely Vulcan next to her. Silly, because he's far more special than he gives himself credit for; if even half of what I saw in his movie really happened to him...no, he really doesn't give himself enough credit, I don't think.
I was jealous in the beginning because as happy as I could make him, Mikaela always made him happier. And it did make me mad for a while, because--well, he's my best friend and he means the world to me, and she just sort of wandered into the middle of that. And I think I'd still be jealous, even to this day, if I hadn't realized just how much better it is that she and Sam have each other. She went home with him, and even though she's not here right now, she's still there at home, waiting for him whenever he has to go back. And I hate to say it, but I know he'll go back someday. It's foolish to pretend that we'll all just stay here forever and ever, and never have to say goodbyeas much as I'd like that sometimes. I'd thought I'd managed to come to terms fairly well with that fact already, but then he left and...well, it's--easier said than done. I know that now. But easy or not, it needs to be done, too.
At least for Sam and Mikaela, they both can go home and see each other and stay with each other, after their time in the City is done. Right now, Blue's the only one I can think of whose world might be linked to Daventry somehow, and even then--even if I do manage to find a way to visit, it'll still--it's so hard, sometimes, making myself remember that he's dead.
...My, I'd better be careful to make sure that Sam doesn't see this, or he'll throw water balloons at me again.
He's right, though. I do think about it too much. Thinking is easier than admitting to myself that yes, there are people here I could fall in love with, I think, and no, they couldn't ever come home with me, and yes, one way or another, if I fall in love with them, we're going to have to leave each other someday. That's just how it is. We keep going on.
But...that's not so different, is it, from the way things are right now, anyway? I know I'm not in love with Sam--no matter how often I joke and Mother insists and Daddy laughs that we ought to get married--but it still hurt just as much to lose him. It hurt when Sirius left, and when Tamaki left, and it'd hurt just as horribly if Blue left or Rue left or Neil and Todd left...so he's right. It's going to hurt, no matter what, and it might never be as bad as it was a week ago, but...it'll hurt. And it'll hurt them when I leave, if I leave, whenever I leave. Just like it hurts to have left Mother and Daddy and Alexander behind.
So if it's going to hurt no matter what I do, isn't it better to be happy with the time there is? That's what Sam said. As much as it must hurt him now that Mikaela isn't here with him, it's better than what it might've been. He still has those memories, if nothing else.
Perhaps it's just that I don't want to admit I'm in love, if it should happen while I'm here.
...Then again, perhaps I don't have to.
[/Private]
[Filtered from Alexis Hargreaves | Blue's Codes | Unhackable]
Well, the bad news is, it turns out I had to set back everything I had planned for Friday, which is a bit frustrating because I rather dislike it when I have a lot of things that need to get done and then I suddenly have to rearrange everything on short notice.
The good news is, SAM IS BACK!
Thank you again, Blue, for letting me stay with you those few days, and to everyone that was worried about me, too. I really do appreciate it, and I'm glad to know that...well, that you're all there, in good times and in bad. It means a great deal to me, knowing that. But I'm back in the Warehouse now and everything is getting back to normal--well, as much as it can in the City, anyway.
And speaking of odd things in the City, would someone be so kind as to tell me what sort of creature a "Bulbasaur" is? I had one following me around on Saturday and while it seemed like a very friendly little...er, plant, I suppose?--I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, exactly, other than to put out some water and scraps for it. I do hope it managed all right, though, wherever it went.
[OOC: Yeah, I missed the Pokemon curse 'cause of a wedding, but we're pretending Rosella had herself a Bulbasaur for the whole dayshut up I like Bulbasaur. Hey, it was either that or a Roselia, but I restrained myself from the obvious pun this time. =D]
He's back. He's really back. I kept an eye on him for the whole weekend and now it's Monday and he's still here, so the worry that it might've just been one of those weekend curses, bringing him back and keeping him here for the duration, the way those visitors do sometimes...but it wasn't. I checked and double-checked and triple-checked, and he's still here.
Maybe it's selfish to be so happy that he's trapped here again, when he could be at home with his family and friends and going to his college, but I don't care, not this time. This time I'm going to be selfish and happy and I'm so glad he's back!
I am sorry, though, that Mikaela didn't come back with him.
It's a little strange to think back how jealous I was of her just a few months ago, back when she first arrived. But who wouldn't be, next to someone as lovely and intelligent and confident and modern as she was? And Sam thought so highly of her, too, and I was certainly jealous of that. It's a bit silly, almost, to listen to him speak of her--really, you'd think she was Venus herself, and he merely Vulcan next to her. Silly, because he's far more special than he gives himself credit for; if even half of what I saw in his movie really happened to him...no, he really doesn't give himself enough credit, I don't think.
I was jealous in the beginning because as happy as I could make him, Mikaela always made him happier. And it did make me mad for a while, because--well, he's my best friend and he means the world to me, and she just sort of wandered into the middle of that. And I think I'd still be jealous, even to this day, if I hadn't realized just how much better it is that she and Sam have each other. She went home with him, and even though she's not here right now, she's still there at home, waiting for him whenever he has to go back. And I hate to say it, but I know he'll go back someday. It's foolish to pretend that we'll all just stay here forever and ever, and never have to say goodbye
At least for Sam and Mikaela, they both can go home and see each other and stay with each other, after their time in the City is done. Right now, Blue's the only one I can think of whose world might be linked to Daventry somehow, and even then--even if I do manage to find a way to visit, it'll still--
...My, I'd better be careful to make sure that Sam doesn't see this, or he'll throw water balloons at me again.
He's right, though. I do think about it too much. Thinking is easier than admitting to myself that yes, there are people here I could fall in love with, I think, and no, they couldn't ever come home with me, and yes, one way or another, if I fall in love with them, we're going to have to leave each other someday. That's just how it is. We keep going on.
But...that's not so different, is it, from the way things are right now, anyway? I know I'm not in love with Sam--no matter how often I joke and Mother insists and Daddy laughs that we ought to get married--but it still hurt just as much to lose him. It hurt when Sirius left, and when Tamaki left, and it'd hurt just as horribly if Blue left or Rue left or Neil and Todd left...so he's right. It's going to hurt, no matter what, and it might never be as bad as it was a week ago, but...it'll hurt. And it'll hurt them when I leave, if I leave, whenever I leave. Just like it hurts to have left Mother and Daddy and Alexander behind.
So if it's going to hurt no matter what I do, isn't it better to be happy with the time there is? That's what Sam said. As much as it must hurt him now that Mikaela isn't here with him, it's better than what it might've been. He still has those memories, if nothing else.
Perhaps it's just that I don't want to admit I'm in love, if it should happen while I'm here.
...Then again, perhaps I don't have to.
[/Private]
[Filtered from Alexis Hargreaves | Blue's Codes | Unhackable]
Well, the bad news is, it turns out I had to set back everything I had planned for Friday, which is a bit frustrating because I rather dislike it when I have a lot of things that need to get done and then I suddenly have to rearrange everything on short notice.
The good news is, SAM IS BACK!
Thank you again, Blue, for letting me stay with you those few days, and to everyone that was worried about me, too. I really do appreciate it, and I'm glad to know that...well, that you're all there, in good times and in bad. It means a great deal to me, knowing that. But I'm back in the Warehouse now and everything is getting back to normal--well, as much as it can in the City, anyway.
And speaking of odd things in the City, would someone be so kind as to tell me what sort of creature a "Bulbasaur" is? I had one following me around on Saturday and while it seemed like a very friendly little...er, plant, I suppose?--I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, exactly, other than to put out some water and scraps for it. I do hope it managed all right, though, wherever it went.
[OOC: Yeah, I missed the Pokemon curse 'cause of a wedding, but we're pretending Rosella had herself a Bulbasaur for the whole day
no subject