primrosella | Quest 053

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Quest 053

[Attempted Private//Somewhat Hackable]

Well. I've been acting terribly silly lately, haven't I?

Yes, that's right. Terribly silly, and--selfish, and petty and ungrateful and I should be happy. That's right, that's the right thing to do. I should be happy that they're gone and not trapped here anymore. They belong at home and it's better this way and here I am, thinking of nothing but myself.

Selfish. I have a brother just my age, someone to talk to and be friends with and love, and what do I think? Horrible things--as though it were a competition with the kingdom as a prize. And I couldn't even see that until Romeo pointed it out--oh, honestly, what's wrong with me? It's as though I've been looking for reasons to dislike him. My own brother, and I...and what if it had been me? What if it were me and I came all that way just trying to get home and he thought of me the way I've thought of him?

Selfish! What a spoiled little girl I am, wanting everyon--everything all to myself. I wanted to dislike her before I even spoke with her--how awful is that? I made that promise knowing full well that something like this might come up, and now it has and--that's right, Rosella, that's why you ought to always say what you mean. Remember how Mother would say that? Don't lie, Rosella, you should always tell the truth. Be generous, Rosella, don't be selfish. Good things come to good girls, Rosella.

You've made your bed, Rosella, now lie in it.

No. No, no, no, it's not important, none of it is important, I shouldn't even be thinking of things like this. Selfish little girl, worrying about boys and balls when your family's going to be kidnapped and fed to a cat--and Daddy wasn't there, what's going to happen to him? What if your fruit didn't save him, after all?--no, no, no. I want to go home but I can't go home, not until I know how to save them, not until I can fix all this somehow...

I could trade it all for a magic wand. Would it be enough? All those thoughts...

No! I won't! I can't...stop it, stop it, what's wrong with me? I haven't acted like this since that curse--what would Daddy think, if he heard me saying things like that?

Stop it. Everything happens for a reason, and things always work out in the end, don't they? And it...it always gets better. Even if I'm not--however it is I ought to be. Even if they're better than me. That doesn't matter. I've just--I've just got to do the very best I can, and try as hard as I can, and that's all I can do, isn't it?

I promised I'd try to find something to smile about every day...I don't want to break that promise, you wouldn't like it if I did, would you? I miss you all so much...

[/Private]

...Goodness, I slept in late today. I must've been very tired; I do hope I'm not coming down with anything. Being sick a few months ago was more than enough illness for me, thank you very much.

I do wish I'd checked the Network earlier, though. I suppose I should've guessed that finding candy in my room was the cause of a curse ~~and not anything else~~. Are they all as sad as the ones I received, I wonder? I'm sorry, I promise I won't eat any more than I already have. I didn't realize. And if they're meant to be secrets...I won't tell. On my honor. ~~But that doesn't mean I won't worry, just the same.~~

Still...I know this is a very strange way to be introduced, but if someone by the name of the Tianzi should happen to read this, I'd like very much to speak with you, if you have a moment.

[OOC: Sad princess is sad--and hasn't come out of her room all day. And as if her own mood wasn't bad enough, she also got Rue's DESPAIR, Blue's HEARTBREAK, and Tianzi's INSECURITY, all in a row. So basically...yeah, she's not coming out.]

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[As soon as she saw that his eyes were closed, Rosella took off for the bed, nimbly jumping from where she stood to open-patch-near-the-clothes to short-space-next-to-the-books to bit-alongside-the-table and up into bed, where she yanked the covers up to her chin and curled in, glancing around to make sure she was safely back and hidden from view. All told, it took her no more than a few seconds.]

There. I'm back in bed now, you can open your eyes.

[Sam waited a moment or two more before he opened his eyes. Not that she would want to trick him and NOT be covered up, but it was just to be safe.]

Okay, I'll go make some tea, alright?

Mmhmm. I'll wait. And...well, try to clear a space, I suppose.

[She motioned vaguely to the nighttable, which was cluttered with books and trinkets.]

[Sam just laughed and shook his head.]

You keep this whole place so clean except for your room. I'll be back soon, don't worry.

I like my room messy. And it's not as though I can't find everything I need to, anyway.

[She admittedly felt a tiny stab of anxiety at the thought of being left alone again, but she pointedly forced it down and rolled over with a fwump of her covers.]

I'll be fast, I promise!

[Sam took off at a run down to the kitchen to start heating up some water, which took way too long for his tastes. When the water was boiled he poured it in a thermos, grabbed a box of various tea bags, a box of granola bars, and ran back up to her room.]

Back!

[In the admittedly short time he was gone, Rosella had not only managed to clear room on the nighttable, but had kicked a few things out of the way to make a neater path for Sam to reach the side of the bed, and had shifted over to make room for him to sit down if he wanted.]

That was fast. If ever I need to win a tea-making race, I'll know who to pick as my champion.

You know, it wouldn't surprise me if for some reason you did need a tea making champion.

[Sam came in and sat down on the bed, making himself comfortable as he handed one of the mugs to her.]

The box has all kinds of teas so, uhhh, pick whichever one you want.

Yes, well...I suppose it wouldn't be the, um, strangest thing I've ever been asked to do.

[Rosella took it gratefully and looked over the selection of tea. She wasn't feeling particularly picky; so long as it would give her something to sip and hopefully settle her stomach, it'd be fine. Raspberry sounded good enough, she supposed.]

Ugh, what a miserable day.

Not even close.

[Sam poured out some hot water into her mug and then some into his and grabbed a random bag of tea from the box. Tea was tea to him.]

Yeah, it's pretty much been awful all the way around.

Well, it just goes to show, having a sweet tooth will get you in trouble.

[She just held the mug a minute, letting the hot water inside warm her hands through the mug, and then sat up a little straighter to fix her tea.]

Mm...will you answer a question for me?

Or being curious.

[Sam was a bit taken aback at her question and the semi-ominous nature of it. It was probably nothing but he couldn't help but be on edge because of what happened lately.]

Yeah, of course.

Unfortunately for me, I'm prone to both.

[Rosella laughed a little that that, but it ended up sounding more like a sigh.]

What do you suppose a memory is worth?

[Sam scratched his head in thought for a moment. Definitely a bit more philosophical than he was expecting.]

You're not going to make a deal with the deities that costs a memory, are you?

[She kept her eyes on the tea in her mug.]

No. It's just something I've been thinking about for a while.

[Sam sat back and thought about it some more.]

It depends on the memory? Sometimes it can be worth a lot.

Mmm.

[Rosella gave her tea a thoughtful sip, and then gave Sam a faint smile.]

I don't think I could do it, anyway. Trading away a memory? It wouldn't be fair, somehow, to the ones who made it.

[Same gave her a bit of a smile back before nodding.]

I don't know, it would depend on the reason. And whose memory it was. If you could trade your memories of me to go home? I'd want you to do it.

[She wasn't expecting that response, and nearly dropped her tea all over herself because of it. Fortunately, she managed to catch herself, and just ended up staring at Sam, wide-eyed.]

I'd never!

Well you should! Rosella, you should go home to your family. They need you!

[Trembling, she just barely got the tea mug to an open space on her nighttable--which was a good thing, because with her hands shaking and her eyes filling with tears, holding a mug of hot liquid was not the best of ideas at that moment. Determined not to start crying again, she gritted her teeth and rubbed at her eyes to get rid of the tears before they could fall.]

Don't do this. Don't--don't make me try to choose, don't make me try to decide what's more important, not now, not after--I know they need me! Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I think about it every day, how it sounded when he threatened to feed my mother to a cat? I can't--why would you say that? Isn't it an awful enough choice I have to make already, without you telling me to forget you and go away?

[Sam was a bit taken aback by her words. He quickly put his cup down. He moved to hug her but then decided against it since he wasn't sure if she wanted that just now.]

Whoa, whoa, whoa... I just meant in a general "You're so amazing that your family needs you" type way. I just... I want you to know that it's more important to me that you do what's important to help people and what's important to you than the fact that I don't want you to forget me.

[She didn't speak until she'd gotten control of herself again, and didn't look up until she was sure she'd stopped crying. On what was already a miserable day, the thought of having to give up all memory of her best friend--and more importantly, being told to do it by said best friend himself--was just a bit too much. But no, she'd been wrong, and that made her feel a little better again.]

I know...but it's important enough to me to find a way that won't force me to choose. If it's a solution that makes me pick between you and my family...it's not a very good solution. I'd never forgive myself. If I forgot...no, I couldn't, I just couldn't.

[Sam really wished he hadn't said anything. Things hadn't come out exactly how he wanted them to. Or even close to how he wanted them to.]</small. No, it's not a good solution at all. And I'd never give up memories of you to get home so I guess it's kind of hypocritical advice.

[She bit her lip, chewing absently as she thought.]

I won't forget you. I'll just...have to find a way that means I won't have to. And if time won't pass for them until I do...then I've got all the time in the world to find one, haven't I?

Re: [Action]

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