primrosella | Quest 053

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Quest 053

[Attempted Private//Somewhat Hackable]

Well. I've been acting terribly silly lately, haven't I?

Yes, that's right. Terribly silly, and--selfish, and petty and ungrateful and I should be happy. That's right, that's the right thing to do. I should be happy that they're gone and not trapped here anymore. They belong at home and it's better this way and here I am, thinking of nothing but myself.

Selfish. I have a brother just my age, someone to talk to and be friends with and love, and what do I think? Horrible things--as though it were a competition with the kingdom as a prize. And I couldn't even see that until Romeo pointed it out--oh, honestly, what's wrong with me? It's as though I've been looking for reasons to dislike him. My own brother, and I...and what if it had been me? What if it were me and I came all that way just trying to get home and he thought of me the way I've thought of him?

Selfish! What a spoiled little girl I am, wanting everyon--everything all to myself. I wanted to dislike her before I even spoke with her--how awful is that? I made that promise knowing full well that something like this might come up, and now it has and--that's right, Rosella, that's why you ought to always say what you mean. Remember how Mother would say that? Don't lie, Rosella, you should always tell the truth. Be generous, Rosella, don't be selfish. Good things come to good girls, Rosella.

You've made your bed, Rosella, now lie in it.

No. No, no, no, it's not important, none of it is important, I shouldn't even be thinking of things like this. Selfish little girl, worrying about boys and balls when your family's going to be kidnapped and fed to a cat--and Daddy wasn't there, what's going to happen to him? What if your fruit didn't save him, after all?--no, no, no. I want to go home but I can't go home, not until I know how to save them, not until I can fix all this somehow...

I could trade it all for a magic wand. Would it be enough? All those thoughts...

No! I won't! I can't...stop it, stop it, what's wrong with me? I haven't acted like this since that curse--what would Daddy think, if he heard me saying things like that?

Stop it. Everything happens for a reason, and things always work out in the end, don't they? And it...it always gets better. Even if I'm not--however it is I ought to be. Even if they're better than me. That doesn't matter. I've just--I've just got to do the very best I can, and try as hard as I can, and that's all I can do, isn't it?

I promised I'd try to find something to smile about every day...I don't want to break that promise, you wouldn't like it if I did, would you? I miss you all so much...

[/Private]

...Goodness, I slept in late today. I must've been very tired; I do hope I'm not coming down with anything. Being sick a few months ago was more than enough illness for me, thank you very much.

I do wish I'd checked the Network earlier, though. I suppose I should've guessed that finding candy in my room was the cause of a curse ~~and not anything else~~. Are they all as sad as the ones I received, I wonder? I'm sorry, I promise I won't eat any more than I already have. I didn't realize. And if they're meant to be secrets...I won't tell. On my honor. ~~But that doesn't mean I won't worry, just the same.~~

Still...I know this is a very strange way to be introduced, but if someone by the name of the Tianzi should happen to read this, I'd like very much to speak with you, if you have a moment.

[OOC: Sad princess is sad--and hasn't come out of her room all day. And as if her own mood wasn't bad enough, she also got Rue's DESPAIR, Blue's HEARTBREAK, and Tianzi's INSECURITY, all in a row. So basically...yeah, she's not coming out.]

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[Well, that did it. Now it was her turn to crash into him--holding on like she never planned to let go, and burying her face in his shoulder.]

I'm--I'm sorry...

[Sam hugged her tight, and then realized how rather awkward this was. He'd never really comforted anyone like this before.]

No, no, no... you don't need to apologize, okay? It's alright.

[Normally, Rosella didn't cry very often or very easily, no matter how bad things got. Very rarely did things hit her hard enough to get her to that point. This time, though, she'd hit her breaking point.]

It just--hurts...

I know, I know, I'm sorry. If anyone deserves to be happy it's you. But you have people here who care about you and... no one can ever replace you, Rosella.

[Hearing her cry was hard and Sam couldn't help but feel some of it was his fault. But still, she was Rosella. How could she worry that it was possible to forget or replace her?]

N-No, it's--if it were just that, it wouldn't--but it's not, it's that, and the other things, and home and worry and I ate the candy too and it--

[She wanted to explain, really she did, but it was harder than it sounded to put it all into words. And she'd vowed on her honor that she wouldn't tell those secrets, but even if she would've, how could she put into words, some of the things she'd learned?]

[Sam wasn't sure what she was talking about but he was pretty sure that whatever it was he couldn't really help by doing more than he was now.]

Just... things are going to be okay. Not everything but the really important things like you being happy and being remembering you.

[Part of her knew that she really wasn't making any sense, but it was rather difficult to organize her thoughts and cry at the same time, so she decided to settle for the crying part and try to make sense later.]

Did it hurt? When you--when you ate them, did it hurt you? I'm sorry...mine hurt and I think, I think I'm going to make myself sick...

[Sam continued to just hug her and pat her back in what he hoped was a comforting way.]

Hurt? No. I mean, yeah, I was sad you felt that way because I don't want you to feel like that but it wasn't painful.

[And the comforting was working; slowly but surely, as she wore herself out with crying, she started to calm down and leaned a little more heavily on him.]

The ones I ate. Each one was like...a punch to the stomach. They were all different and they all hurt.

[Sam was more than happy to hold her up, glad that she seemed to be feeling a bit better.]

Well, we'll start by making sure you don't eat any. Or I can find some that make you feel good.

I don't want any more. I don't...want to do much of anything today, besides hiding in bed and sleeping.

[She twisted her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, looking for something to hold on to.]

[Sam felt her grab his shirt and he started to gently rub her back, because that seems to be what people do in this sort of situation.]

Hey, hey, that's okay. If that's what you want that's what you can do. I'll, uhhh, make you some tea and sandwiches and cookies or something and you don't even have to leave your room.

[Vaguely, Rosella knew she was being rather silly, and that nagging proper little voice in her head had started to whisper that this was no way for her to be acting. But this time she ignored it; she'd had enough of hiding everything in order to act how she ought.]

Please don't go. Not yet. Please?

[Sam nodded, not moving any further away from her.]

I won't go anywhere if you don't want me to.

[Good. She wasn't letting go anytime soon, anyway.]

I'm sorry. I really am a lot of trouble these days.

[He wasn't sure if he was just supposed to keep standing there holding her but it seemed to be working well so far.]

Hey, no you're not. And even if you were, you'd be worth it.

[She was definitely starting to calm down now; strangely enough, the round of crying actually seemed to do her a lot of good. If she'd been left to her own devices, Rosella likely would've just forced it down and bottled it up--which worked just fine for smaller setbacks and bouts of sadness, but not nearly as well when they all seemed to come at once.]

Worth breaking down my door to see what's wrong? I'm not so sure about that...

[Sam had to chuckle at that. It seemed like a good idea at the time...]

Okay, that was maybe a bit ridiculous. But I'd do it again if I had to. These doors are really solid...

[She rolled her eyes a little, but thanks to the hugging, she was pretty sure Sam wasn't able to see it.]

...Was it even locked? I don't remember if I did or not. You might've tried to break down an open door.

[Sam thought about that for a moment. He hadn't checked, he'd just started ramming.]

Ummmm, I guess it could have been unlocked...

[There, that got a weak, wobbling laugh out of her. She relaxed her grip a little, shaking her head.]

You really must've been worried, then.

[Sam actually blushed a bit at that.]

Well, yeah.

Well...and I'm just the same, I suppose, since I did come running to stop you.

[And it slowly began to dawn on her that, oh, she hadn't bothered to waste time putting on a robe or anything in her rush for the door, so she'd been hugging Sam in her nightgown this whole time. ...Awkward.]

Yeah, and that was my plan all along... yeah...

[It's about this time that Sam notices the same thing.]

Ummm, you sure you don't want me to go get tea or something while you put a robe on or climb back in bed?

[Aaaaaand now it's her turn to blush. A lot.]

...That--would be a very good idea, I think. Yes, let's, er, let's do that. Right now.

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