primrosella | Quest 240

[Voice Post]

[The audio snaps on with a click, but there is a somewhat awkward pause before any speaking occurs; then, after some hesitant shuffling, Rosella clears her throat and begins.]

Yes, well, er. I'm sure that several people have noticed by now that there's, um...that there seems to be a unicorn on the loose in the City. And, er, that's exactly so, because it turns out that one got loose from the zoo the other day, and I'm sure that the poor thing is terribly frightened, and that's why it's been causing so much...er, trouble.

[Have another awkward pause.]

In any case, it seems that it's...well, as unicorns tend to do, it seems this one isn't exactly fond of anyone that's--

[ANOTHER PAUSE.]

That is, it hasn't been hurting the...um, maidens of the City, as it were.

[Look, her awkwardness right now is palpable, okay?]

So, um, it would be the wise and sensible thing to do, I think, for anyone that's married or not...er, chaste, to use as much caution as possible when going out and about places today.

[Here is a pause, in which Rosella fidgets a bit and then clears her throat again.]

And if there are any...virtuous maidens--or boy maidens, I suppose, though it might take better to girls, just the same--that would be willing to help in subduing the poor thing and getting him back to the zoo where he belongs, please do let me know, and I'd be so very grateful for the help.

[And with that public service announcement completed, Rosella shuts off her Network device with a relieved click.]

[OOC: Unicornanigans! Just in time for Christmas. ELITE SQUAD OF VIRGINS, this is your recruitment post! And in the spirit of the curse today, feel free to threadjack everywhere, discuss with everyone, try to make Rosella actually say the word "virgin" (if you CAN)...and just generally have fun!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You want...maidens.

...W-why would a unicorn even care about that?

Well, it's...er, the traditional sort of thing, you see. Unicorns will only tolerate maidens, and they get rather...annoyed with people that aren't, um, chaste.

H-how do they even--No, I'm not sure I want to know how they figure who's...what.

So you need, uh--people.

[And insert an obvious awkward silence because...yeah, she has the qualifications.]

It's part of being a unicorn, you see. They're magical to begin with, and it's a sort of an...instinct, besides.

But I think if enough, er, maidens all try to surround him and calm him down, we might be able to get him to hold still long enough to catch him.

...Instinct, huh?

Anyway, that doesn't sound like a very sure plan if you ask me.

Something like that, yes.

Perhaps not, but I'm afraid we haven't thought of any better ones yet, and an unsure plan is better than none at all.

I guess so, but...You just need to subdue it or something, right?

Yes, and without making it angry. It's angry enough as it is, poor thing, running about and--er, mauling people.

Yeah, it's already pretty angry all right.

[Oh, but that means no painful magic...]

What does it eat? You could probably slip it some tranquilizers if you can get close.

Well, I imagine its tastes would be rather like a horse's, so grass and carrots and apples and things, I suppose?

Sure. I'm no unicorn expert, but that sounds good enough. All you need to do is mash some of that up with enough sedative to calm it down.

Edited 2010-12-24 00:52 (UTC)

A sedative? To tame him, you mean?

Huh? I guess, temporarily...Unless you plan on actually turning him into a pet or something.

Oh, goodness, no, I'd never do any such thing! I only want to get him back to the zoo where he belongs, that's all.

Okay, I get it...So drug him, lead him back, and let him sleep it off.

That would work quite well, I should think, if we can manage to lure him out long enough for him to eat in the first place.

...Y-you're sure he'd only hang around...v-virgins, right?

I'm, er, fairly certain, yes. That is, I don't think he'll attack...anyone that is one. It seems that it's only his nature to maul the people who, um, aren't.

S-so you just need a few other people who are, and they should all have some drugged food. What else would get a unicorn's attention, anyway? I mean, without the mauling.

As I understand it, there's usually some frolicking involved as well, but it is December, so perhaps he'll make an exception since there aren't any wildflowers around at all.

...This is some weird animal. But unless you can get it to frolic through snowdrifts, it better make an exception.

I do hope he will. If not, we'll just have to keep trying until we come up with something, bother it all.

Or until summer. It'd be a pretty long wait for some people.

Much too long, I'm afraid.

Then you might as well try it now. If it fails, we'll just have to knock it out the normal way.

Quest 240

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~

voice~