primrosella | Entries tagged with awkward to the max

[Voice Post]

I, er...yes, hello again, everyone, it's so very nice to see you again! My, it's that time of the year again, isn't it? This must be our visit for the winter season, since the last one we had was, er, in the fall. It's, um, been quite some time since then, hasn't it?

...Yes, well, um. Yes. Er...

...Oh, honestly, this is ridiculous, I've never had such trouble with the visitors before--er, mostly, anyway, since there was that one time when--well, but that's beside the point. Um. It's just that there's someone here and I think he's been following me and I can't for the life of me puzzle out why, since every time I turn around he just up and disappears again! Honestly, I've never seen anything like it; normally the people who come to call are so eager to say hello. They don't usually sneak around in the shadows and turn up in nothing but glimpses wherever I go.

But, er, in any case, I am eager to say hello to people, and so please do stop by if you have a moment, since I'd like very much to visit with you if you have the time. And, er, I suppose if the person following me--or even if you aren't following me, but simply happening to turn up wherever I go on coincidence--can see this, too, then please do come out and say hello, yourself? I can't imagine why you wouldn't...

I'll be looking forward to it, very much so!

[OOC: As per usual, she's canonically from just after the end of Perils of Rosella, and with some very disjointed and vague knowledge of Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder. ~~Not that that really means anything to anyone, but.~~ If something comes up that I don't want her to know, I'll just have her forget it, so have a party--anything goes! HIT HER WITH EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT. Troll, threadjack, have a ball!

And of course, I am totally okay with backdating. ♥]

(COMMENTS)

Current Mood: unsure

[Filtered from Known DELILAH Members | Blue's Codes | Unhackable]

To-Do This Week
--Baking

o) Pies (all the good kinds)
o) Christmas cookies
o) Other cookies so I don't eat all the Christmas cookies
o) Gingerbread houses!

--Shopping (Food)

o) Christmas dinner things
o) ~~Extra flour~~
o) ~~Candy for decorating gingerbread houses~~
o) Dinner things for Miss Saya's friends at the Warehouse

--Shopping (Presents)

o) Christmas presents
o) ~~Birthday presents~~
o) New bells for Valor's harness

--Other Things

o) ~~Make Edmund get up and about~~
o) Christmas tree!
o) Dust the Warehouse
o) Visit Ellington (with a present?) ~~What does one get a lake monster, anyway?~~
o) NO UNICORNS
o) Do all this regardless of curses
o) And without sounding like Mother ~~any more than I have already~~

Well, I suppose that might be a lofty set of goals, but there's only six more days until Christmas and it's certainly not going to manage itself! So there's nothing to do but get right to it, after all. And of course, there's no better way to let alone a silly weekend than by keeping busy, either.

[OOC: So, people staying in the Warehouse courtesy of Saya: hi, there! Meet Rosella. She's been a little spotty around the place lately for unrelated reasons (which is also my handy excuse for why she may not have met your characters in person), but she's been popping in to cook and clean every so often, so feel free to have noticed her, recognize her as Saya's sweet blonde princessy roommate, observe that she is the reason why the refrigerator never seems to go empty, etc. ♥]

Current Mood: busy

[Accidental Voice Post | Open Action]

[There are footsteps, the light crunching of snow, the rustle of a long woolen cloak--and the huffing of one incredibly exasperated princess as she makes the long and perilous trek from the massive complex that was formerly the residence of the four Pevensies (and now is home to only one, plus guest) into the City proper and across the way, aiming for the Warehouse with a very specific purpose in mind.]

Oh, drat it all, I knew I ought to have packed that helmet when I had the chance--

[But alas, it is indeed a very long way to the Warehouse, and with that much ground to cover, it's only a matter of time before someone stops her, isn't it?]

[OOC: Let's have some mistletoe madness~ Action is open to everyone (though people she knows to be evil, I can't promise she won't make a speedy getaway before you can get close to her, sorry) and you're welcome to encounter her pretty much anywhere in the City! Also, it's exam season and I've got one tomorrow at 8:30 AM, so my tags may be slow and sporadic for a bit, but I will backdate like the wind. Bear with me!]

Current Mood: exasperated

( Private to Self || Hackable by Friends )

[Filtered from Known DELILAH Members | Blue's Codes | Unhackable]

I, er...that is, this may sound like a terribly odd question, but the Network does seem to be rather full of strange feelings and experiences today, so perhaps it's not so odd after all. But it's something that's been bothering me all day, and if anyone could help me find an answer to it, I'd really very much appreciate it--

What in the world is Turkish Delight? And, er, would anyone happen to know where I could get some? I know it sounds terribly silly, but I was promised some in a dream, and I never did get to have any before I woke up, so...

Well, er. I suppose I'd just like to have a taste of it, that's all. Whatever it may be.

[OOC: And today Rosella has

wandbreaker memory of...selling out his family for Turkish Delight. OH BOY. The dangers of having a sweet tooth!]

Current Mood: puzzled

[Accidental Voice Post]

--rat it all, I did it again, didn't I. Honestly, every Giving-Thanks--but really, I didn't think we'd end up with this much...

[Mumble mumble.]

...uppose I can always wrap some of it up and give it to the Welcome Center, and just keep some of it for ourselves, and--oh, bother, this was always much easier when I could count on Sam to finish off all the...

[Mumble mumble mumble.]

...umpkin, one whole apple, half of cherry, one and half again of custard. I wonder why the custard didn't go very well? It tasted all right to me...hmm. And then there's half a turkey still, and the cranberry sauce--and I still haven't looked at the ceiling, thank you--and bowls and things of the potatoes and dressing and goodness, all the cookies, and--oh, when did this turn on?

[A pause.]

Er...well, um, since this is already on, I suppose I might as well ask, really: if anyone would like some, er, leftover baked things from Gi--from Thanksgiving, please do let me know, won't you? Because really, I'd be more than happy to oblige.

[OOC: So Rosella likes big Thanksgiving dinners. Rosella also has an unfortunate tendency to bake up a storm when she's stressed out. Put the two together and what do you get? A veritable mountain of leftovers. >> Please take some. Please.

Also, for those interested, my HMD thread is here!]

Current Mood: busy

[Accidental Voice Post]

--eally isn't proper behavior at all!

[The post, clearly accidental, begins with a feminine voice and a rustle of fabric, accompanied moments later by the sound of wind and water lapping lightly at a shore.]

I know you were only trying to help, and I'm terribly grateful for that, but really, I wasn't in trouble! And, er, 'rescuing' me really only made for more of it, so that wasn't the best of things, either.

[Careful listeners may detect a faint splash, and a very soft, burbling croon.]

Yes, I know. And you are a good boy, and I promise to scream and thrash and make a great fuss if I ever am in trouble, and then I'd be more than happy for the assistance, believe me. It's just that last night wasn't one of them.

[More water, another breath of wind. After a pause, the voice speaks again, and this time it's softer, fonder, with a touch of amusement beneath it.]

...I'm sure it's what Blue would've wanted you to do, though. So I suppose I can't be too upset with you for that.

[Another splash.]

That's right, it's been just us for a whole year now, hasn't it?

[There is one last pause, and then a few faint strains of eerie warbling float past the microphone, almost too quiet to be heard.]

I know. I miss him, too.

[And shortly thereafter, the audio ends.]

[OOC: Ahahaha, okay, so in an effort to fulfill one of my long-term Poly dreams, Cain and Rosella celebrated an anniversary down by the lake last night...which happened to involve some smooching...which in turn happened to cause the friendly baby Cthulhu lake monster, Ellington, to, er, attempt to drown Cain in the lake. SHENANIGANS, HO! More of the story will be coming out via Rosella and Cain in the comments, but that's...pretty much the gist of it. Happy anniversary of your first kiss, Rosella. >>]

Current Mood: nostalgic

[Voice Post]

[It's quite early in the morning, just around sunrise, when this post begins to record to the Network; the soft sound of birds beginning to chirp is audible from somewhere nearby, and the slightest hint of a breeze (probably from an open window) whispers over the microphone, accompanied by what sounds oddly like the clinking of metal against wood. The moments pass and the clinking persists, rhythmic and even, and then at last, at some indeterminate time, at some unseen signal, the clinking is replaced by--]

RAHZ AND SHAHN, CHERIE! ZEE MORNING, EET EEZ BEAUTIFUL, AND SO ARE YOU!

[--which, in turn, comes accompanied by a jolt and a rather feminine yelp--]

Augh--! What in the world--?!

[--but alas, the original voice is off and running again.]

AH, MA PETIT, MON CHERE, YOU WERE NOT STILL SLEE-PEENG? BUT ZEE SUN IS UP! ZEE BIRDS, ZEY ARE SEENG-EENG! ZERE IS SO MUCH TO DO! COME NOW, AS ZEY SAY, "UP AND AT AHM"! SEIZE ZEE DAY! VIVE LE FRANCE!

[A moment later, there is a fwump and a clatter, the two audible bits of proof that even half-asleep, Rosella has pretty good aim when throwing a pillow. And after a few more smothered, heavily accented bits of muttering, the audio ends.]

[OOC: Posting super early because my ISP is doing maintenance tomorrow and I wanted to make sure I got this up before then, so comments might be slow! But yes, this does take place right around dawn; a candelabra in Rosella's room has been afflicted with If These Walls Could Talk, and it has thus become possessed with a ree-deek-you-lus Fraanch accent. For the lulz. Sadly, Rosella is not as amused. ♥]

Current Mood: sleepy

Memories...are odd things, aren't they?

About a month ago, I mentioned the idea of taking down stories from people's experiences in the City and collecting them into a sort of book or account of all the people that spent time here, for the ones who stay and the new ones who come after we're gone. It's something that a friend of mine did with music, and I thought it might be nice to try it with stories and tales, too.

It'd seemed as though the curses would be easiest to write about, since they're often the things that prove most...er, noteworthy. And it's strange, because after nearly three years in a place like this, one would think one would begin to forget curses here and there as the time goes by. But then, on the occasions when they come up again, it isn't difficult at all to look at the curse and remember that we've had it before. I suppose that's only to be expected, though; after living through an ordeal once, it shouldn't be at all difficult to recall it when it comes around again.

But that's the strangest thing, really. That curse the other day, the one with the tables and parties and everyone moving down...has that one happened before? I feel as though it must've, but I just can't seem to--that is, I remember the commotion, and the cups, and Blue was so very upset for some reason. And it was so rare to see him like that, but I can't think of what could've made him feel that way in a curse about nothing more than bustle and tea.

So I suppose, er...well, it's just, does anyone remember if we've had that curse before? The one we had the other day? If you could, I'd very much appreciate it if you'd tell me about it.

And speaking of curses, I think we'd all best be on our guard today, and in the days to come. I think there's meant to be trouble on the horizon.

[OOC: So yeah, Rosella's usually pretty good about remembering past curses. The reason why she can't get this one? She was kind of missing her heart at the time. Awkward. She'll be in the Library for any punching-related incidents, but she'll be dodging most of them because if she gets hurt, her friends might kill people. >>]

Current Mood: okay

[Accidental Video Post]

[The feed clicks on with a skitter, a rattle, a dark and velvety shadow completely obscuring the camera, a soft whiff of air in something that might be a snort of impatience, and then--]

[Hello, children.]

[OOC: ♪ She can't hiiiiide her lion eyes~ ♫. Man, it's been a really long time since Safari Day turned Rosella into a lion; normally she ends up a Western Rosella because pretty birds are pretty. But today she is a lion, which means she's long out of practice with working a Network device through big meaty paws. Hence the problem. All responses are therefore assumed voice or video, and she'll be prowling around the City today if anyone wants to ~~GET IN THE CAR~~ action, too! o/]

( Private || Hackable by Friends )

I suppose there really isn't a great deal to be said about the past few curses we've had lately, other than to acknowledge that they were just as ridiculous as they always are, and to be thankful that it all seems to have blown over now. I hope everyone can be as understanding as possible in the aftermath--after all, the hardest curses to forgive really are the ones that need it most. I'm doing my best to be as understanding as I can be, too.

Oh, which reminds me--Sparrow, I'm not certain if it really was a fair trade, a yam and some other things in exchange for your movie, so if you'd like it back, I'll be happy to return it to you. But if it's all the same to you, I'd really rather like to keep it, if I may. I think I'm going to make a day of watching movies tomorrow, and this one looks wonderfully fun.

And, er, I know this is a rather odd question to ask, but it's been on my mind lately, so I thought I'd...well. It couldn't hurt to ask, I suppose, if anyone is willing to indulge me a little. There's...no real reason for my asking, other than that it's just something I'd like to hear:

What is your best friend like, City?

[OOC: So tomorrow marks the anniversary of Sam Witwicky's departure, and therefore one year Rosella's spent without her best friend in the City. Hence the curiosity. Also, my dreams have come true and she's acquired a VHS of Mary Poppins, which she'll be viewing tomorrow along with Sam's old copy of Transformers in memory. Good stuff! ~~Bodice-ripper? What bodice ripper. DENIAL IS NOT JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT.~~ What shenanigans will ensue from this? Only time will tell!]

Current Mood: thoughtful

( Personal Journal | Accidentally Left Out on a Writing Desk | Ideal for Dramatic Reveals )

{Correspondence Penned to a Helpful Matron | Unintentionally Viewable to All}

I cannot thank you enough for your discretion in this matter. As I mentioned when we first spoke, I am only newly arrived here, and have not yet had a chance to establish myself properly. Your kind offer, therefore, has come to my rescue at a time when I was otherwise at a loss.

If you could recommend me to a suitable modiste, and perhaps a way of securing some fresh flowers to brighten my rooms, I would be very much in your debt.

[OOC: THE PLOT THICKENS. So Rosella's got a secret; whatever could it be? ~~Hint: it's a cult.~~ The last entry in her journal is a painfully simple substitution cypher that I will gladly decode for anyone who doesn't want to do it themselves. Shenanigans, ho! o/]

Current Mood: weary

[Video Post]

[The video opens on a fairly messy bedroom—all right, perhaps "fairly messy" is an understatement, considering the floor is littered with stacks of odds and ends, books and papers, clothes piled here and there, with barely more than a narrow strip of empty floor space leading from the side of the bed to the door. It is, however, a charming bedroom despite the mess: the bed is a four-poster with a canopy and dotted with fluffy, comfortable-looking pillows; there's a nightstand near the head of the bed, on which rests a small lamp, a tattered and clearly much-loved book of fairy tales, and a pink cell phone with charms attached; dangling over the open closet door hangs a piece of rope several feet in length, and beneath it are propped a bow and quiver of arrows, a sword, and a pair of Rollerblades; on the desk sits another stack of books, a pretty jewelry box, and a candelabra filled with pink tapers. On the wall hangs a stately portrait in a gold frame, and this is the image that the camera eventually settles on as a rather unusual narration begins.]

Good, that's good, get a shot of the portrait. We can use that a hundred times with a voice-over. Okay, great, pan the room, make sure to get all the junk...

Jesus, I pity the guy who spends the night in this place.

Hey, grab me the list a sec, do we have any names of ones who might've tried?

Uh...hang on, you want just the known acquaintances or...?

Eh, give me whatever you've got right there.

Okay, uh, I've got Witwicky, Black, Blue, Gray, Hargreaves, Perry, Anderson, Chase, Thorn, Maxwell, X, Pevensie, Pevensie again, Felix, Winchester, and Colbie. That's the one who lives here now, Nigel Colbie.

Some of those aren't here anymore, though. Who've we got that's still around?

Uh...Hargreaves, Perry, Anderson, Chase, X, both Pevensies, Felix, Winchester, and Colbie.

All right, we'll try to catch one of them. Christ, how does she live like this?

[Then, abruptly, the camera jerks, and a familiar voice rings out with a squawk of protest.]

What are you—get out of my room!

[And in the ensuing squabble, the video ends.]

[OOC: It's canon: Rosella's room is a beautiful disaster. And her documentary creators probably planned to strip out that audio in the final production, but alas, the rough cut made it to the Network. Colored italics are her camera crew and narrator; standard font is Rosella. ♥!]

Current Mood: aggravated

( Private || Hackable by Friends )

...Yesterday was quite a curse, wasn't it?

I do hope everyone's all right today, and that no one found themselves seriously harmed by any compulsions yesterday. I suppose that's the sort of curse that could be as harmless or as dangerous as one cares to make it, really--or rather, as the one in power cares to make it, I should say. I know there were some people who tried very hard to make things easier on the people who had the misfortune to be cursed, certainly, and from what I saw on the Network, there were others who did everything they could to take advantage of the situation instead. I suppose I should count myself lucky I wasn't made to do anything worse than a few silly errands and some running around, really. It certainly could've been much worse.

Curses like that always put me in mind of marionettes, somehow. I had one as a girl, a gift from a gnome who was a friend of the family, and he showed me how to make it dance by pulling on the strings. I think that's a rather apt analogy for a curse like yesterday's, as well--one person dancing, and the other tugging at the strings to make it so. It's the same sort of thing, I think; the marionette can't help how it moves, and it's so all on the puppetmaster to determine how gently or cruelly it dances.

But of course, there's a difference between a person and a toy, just the same. ~~Some people on this Network would do well to remember that.~~

Still, it's over now, and I think I'm going to spend today doing whatever I want, however I please, in whichever order I care to do it. It's often said that we never properly appreciate what we have until it's gone, and if there's one thing yesterday's curse has taught me, it's that free will goes underappreciated far, far too often.

[OOC: Yup, she was cursed yesterday. Fortunately, Cain found a loophole and got her out of obeying everyone (at the expense of obeying him alone), so she didn't have nearly as bad a day as she could've. Which is why she's just kind of thoughtful and introspective instead of a nervous wreck, because control issues are big with her. Also, yes, she really does get locked in a torture chamber at one point in canon. Sierra, what are you even.]

Current Mood: pensive

( Private || Hackable by Friends )

Well, it's been a week since the harpies were dealt with, and the barrier is back up again--or, well, a barrier is back up, at least, though I think it's not quite the same as the one we had before, somehow? Which is rather something to ponder over, really. We'd fixed the other barrier before, when it started to come down in pieces and we were all made to put it back up again, but that's a bit different than having the whole thing disappear completely and leaving us without one at all, and having to put a new one up in its place. It certainly was pretty when it all came together, though, wasn't it? All the lovely shifting lights in the night sky.

In any case, it's up now, and keeping the harpies out again, and yet there still isn't any ticking to speak of. I suppose that rules out the idea that the two of them were connected, the clock and the barrier, and that ruining one disrupted the other somehow. Still, even if they aren't connected, it's still curious that the ticking's gone silent, isn't it? If it wasn't the barrier falling that caused it to stop, then I wonder what it could be.

Yes, Cain, I know, I think too much about that clock. Though I suppose it's only fitting that it's driving me mad whether it ticks or not, isn't it?

Still, I'll try not to let it bother me for the moment. I have a few things to get done yet today, and some errands to run, and something to see to this evening, besides. And that's quite enough for right now, I should think.

[Filtered AWAY from Godchild Cast (Yes, Jez, That Means You Too) | Unhackable]

Though I do wonder--if it's not too much trouble, please, I'd like very much to speak with someone who's visited London, if you have a moment to spare. Edmund, Peter, you've been, haven't you?

[/Filter]

( Filtered to Iacho | Attempted Unhackable )

[OOC: TL;DR forever! She's not cursed today, but she's getting things done: getting stuff off her mind, going to Claire's birthday party, dropping off a box containing shiny pebbles, a shoe, and a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers for Iacho at the Deity Office, conducting a little super sekrit stealth research...good times!]

Current Mood: busy

[Voice Post]

--oses, what in the world? Oh--

[A throat clears, a little hesitantly.]

I...suppose this may seem a rather odd question, but did anyone else have something, er, go missing in the past few days, while the visitors were here? Yesterday morning I woke up and found that all my red roses were gone, from the ones on bushes in my pots to the miniature ones in my window box--and now here they are, and I can't for the life of me puzzle out how they might've gotten all the way out here! I'm certain they're mine, I recognize a few of them, but why would someone take a whole great bunch of roses and move them out somewhere like this? Really, it's the strangest thing! And honestly, what an awful damper that would be on an otherwise pleasant day, to go around taking people's things like that while they're occupied with visiting their friends. Why would anyone ever?

[A small huff of exasperation, followed by a brief pause.]

Which, er, brings me back to my question: has anyone lost...let me see, it looks like...a writing set, or a very fluffy white rabbit, or a stopped clock, a book of poetry, or a teapot and china to match? If you have, it seems they're all out here by a table in the Square. You can't miss it, really--it's surrounded in roses and all set for tea, of all things.

[A pause, a whisper of wind--]

Oh, what's this?

[--and then, a faint rustling sound.]

...A letter? Addressed to--

[And with a click, the audio ends.]

[OOC: Just a little Fourth Wall aftermath~ Please assume this is backdated to early this morning, a little after six or so--and thanks for playing, everyone!]

Current Mood: confused

Well, that was...er, certainly an interesting curse yesterday, wasn't it? I'm not entirely, um, sure what it was all about, other than that everyone seemed to be talking in fives. That is, the things people were saying didn't seem to have much in common with each other, outside of the part about it always only being five words. Why five words, I wonder? We've had plenty of curses before that have altered the way we speak, whether it's through forcing us into rhyme or verse or a sailor's brogue, but there aren't many that restrict the numbers of words themselves, I don't think. There's the one that goes in only three lines like poetry, but I don't think I recall one that keeps things to only five words.

I don't think I was cursed yesterday, either, which is lucky enough, I suppose. Perhaps I'd have a better idea of what it really was if I had been, but I'm certainly not about to complain that I wasn't. Still, no matter what it was, at least it seemed...er, harmless enough, and it's over now, anyway.

And wasn't that a lovely ball we had for Valentine's Day? Really, words can hardly do it justice, and I'm sure anyone who attended will agree. Oh, and I do hope everyone who went to Mr. Nekozawa's event had a lovely time, too, even if it was a rather...well, unorthodox way of celebrating the holiday. After all, a celebration is a celebration, and what matters is that everyone enjoyed themselves, isn't it? And it was certainly nice to have something to look forward to and get excited about, too.

But now things are back to usual--or as usual as they get in the City, I suppose--and I've still another four days to go before I can start thinking about the next great event on the horizon. So I think I'll spend the day looking over a new book of mine. Five words at a time is all well and good, but it's just as nice to have a whole book filled with sentences to pore over on a free afternoon, too.

Current Mood: thoughtful

Oh, rats, it seems it's one of those weekends again, just the same as ever.

...Though come to think of it, we didn't have one of these weekends last month, did we? I do usually try to keep track of them as best I can, whether it's on the weekend itself or on the Monday just after, which seems to be one of the most constant things around here--that the Monday after a weekend like this will never have a curse on it, as though it's meant to be a respite after a whole weekend of trouble. And most every month I say the same thing--that it's one of those weekends again--but now that I think about it, I don't recall saying so last month. Did we miss one, along the way?

Last month was rather strange in itself, though, since we don't often have curses one right after the other, either. And of course, a random weekend like this is two days of curses, one right after the other, so perhaps the two have something to do with each other, after all. It's something to think about, in any case.

The good news is, I seem to have drawn a rather harmless curse today, and one that I've had before, though not...er, precisely in this sense. I do think I look quite nice, though, even if black isn't exactly my color of choice. And of course, the hat is just lovely as well. I suppose I'll have to take care not to let any children knock it off with snowballs, though, won't I? I hear that's rather one of the hazards of having a hat like this, after all.

~~The bad news is, I think I know exactly whose clothes these are, which means--~~

Oh, and I know it's a bit late, but thank you again to everyone who came to the arcade earlier this week! I had a lovely time, and it was great fun seeing all of you. It's always a fine thing to take time out and enjoy oneself, isn't it? And it's always so easy to focus on the bad things in life, so it's good to stop and remember once in a while to look at the good ones, too. And I'm so very glad for that.

Arthur, I know we'd planned for a meeting today, and I've been looking forward to it very much; I do hope you'll forgive that I'm dressed a bit...unusually, today. And of course, I hope you haven't found yourself cursed today either--though if you have, it's no trouble at all to arrange a different time, of course. As I mentioned earlier, the Mondays that follow these sorts of weekends are usually guaranteed to be free of curses. Or at least, as much as anything can be guaranteed in a place like the City.

And Miss Philomena, when you have a moment, I'd like very much to show you the--well, I think it's a rune, but I'm not quite sure, actually. I suppose it might be a sigil or a hieroglyph, just the same, but in any case, it's quite odd and I'd very much like to know what it is.

[OOC: And the name of the game is Wardrobe Switch! Specifically, she's traded clothes with Cain today, which means she's running around looking something like this. Fab Victorian gear, ho!]

Current Mood: thoughtful

[Voice Post]

[The audio snaps on with a click, but there is a somewhat awkward pause before any speaking occurs; then, after some hesitant shuffling, Rosella clears her throat and begins.]

Yes, well, er. I'm sure that several people have noticed by now that there's, um...that there seems to be a unicorn on the loose in the City. And, er, that's exactly so, because it turns out that one got loose from the zoo the other day, and I'm sure that the poor thing is terribly frightened, and that's why it's been causing so much...er, trouble.

[Have another awkward pause.]

In any case, it seems that it's...well, as unicorns tend to do, it seems this one isn't exactly fond of anyone that's--

[ANOTHER PAUSE.]

That is, it hasn't been hurting the...um, maidens of the City, as it were.

[Look, her awkwardness right now is palpable, okay?]

So, um, it would be the wise and sensible thing to do, I think, for anyone that's married or not...er, chaste, to use as much caution as possible when going out and about places today.

[Here is a pause, in which Rosella fidgets a bit and then clears her throat again.]

And if there are any...virtuous maidens--or boy maidens, I suppose, though it might take better to girls, just the same--that would be willing to help in subduing the poor thing and getting him back to the zoo where he belongs, please do let me know, and I'd be so very grateful for the help.

[And with that public service announcement completed, Rosella shuts off her Network device with a relieved click.]

[OOC: Unicornanigans! Just in time for Christmas. ELITE SQUAD OF VIRGINS, this is your recruitment post! And in the spirit of the curse today, feel free to threadjack everywhere, discuss with everyone, try to make Rosella actually say the word "virgin" (if you CAN)...and just generally have fun!]