Quest 240

[primrosella]

[Voice Post]

[The audio snaps on with a click, but there is a somewhat awkward pause before any speaking occurs; then, after some hesitant shuffling, Rosella clears her throat and begins.]

Yes, well, er. I'm sure that several people have noticed by now that there's, um...that there seems to be a unicorn on the loose in the City. And, er, that's exactly so, because it turns out that one got loose from the zoo the other day, and I'm sure that the poor thing is terribly frightened, and that's why it's been causing so much...er, trouble.

[Have another awkward pause.]

In any case, it seems that it's...well, as unicorns tend to do, it seems this one isn't exactly fond of anyone that's--

[ANOTHER PAUSE.]

That is, it hasn't been hurting the...um, maidens of the City, as it were.

[Look, her awkwardness right now is palpable, okay?]

So, um, it would be the wise and sensible thing to do, I think, for anyone that's married or not...er, chaste, to use as much caution as possible when going out and about places today.

[Here is a pause, in which Rosella fidgets a bit and then clears her throat again.]

And if there are any...virtuous maidens--or boy maidens, I suppose, though it might take better to girls, just the same--that would be willing to help in subduing the poor thing and getting him back to the zoo where he belongs, please do let me know, and I'd be so very grateful for the help.

[And with that public service announcement completed, Rosella shuts off her Network device with a relieved click.]


[OOC: Unicornanigans! Just in time for Christmas. ELITE SQUAD OF VIRGINS, this is your recruitment post! And in the spirit of the curse today, feel free to threadjack everywhere, discuss with everyone, try to make Rosella actually say the word "virgin" (if you CAN)...and just generally have fun!]

Comments

voice~

[blastiafreak]

You want...maidens.

...W-why would a unicorn even care about that?

voice~

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, it's...er, the traditional sort of thing, you see. Unicorns will only tolerate maidens, and they get rather...annoyed with people that aren't, um, chaste.

[wandbreaker]

I think you mean virgins.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

It's the same thing!

[child-radical.livejournal.com]

I believe the terms we use nowadays are virgins or cherries. Maiden is so 18th Century.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, this is one instance where I don't mind being old-fashioned, then.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

What a bold announcement, Rosella.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

That's what it's doing, though. At least, I can't think of any other reason why it's attacking some people and not others.

audio ][

[adamantined]

... Boy maidens.

audio ][

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

...Yes. Maidens of either variety.

audio }

[quiesquietis.livejournal.com]

Oh, goodness. Do you know which breed of unicorn it is? I have a little experience of them. Well, I've read some textbooks. Ah, I'm Philomena Poorwillow, hello.

audio }

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

No, I'm afraid I don't, but any help you might be able to offer would be very much appreciated, thank you. My friend and I have a bit of experience with unicorns, ourselves, and we think it's attacking people that aren't--chaste, as it were, so we're hoping to get it rounded up as soon as possible, really.

[ms-marycontrary.livejournal.com]

[Omg a real unicorn.]

I'll help!

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I think you'd best ask your brother first this time, Merry, but if he's willing to let you go, I'd be very glad to have your help.

PRIVATE |

[neverplay]

Looking for someone to kick unicorn ass?

PRIVATE |

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I--I beg your pardon?

[fatespoken]

Boy Maidens? Isn't that contradictory?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

It's not. [Can you tell she's answered this a lot today?] And if there are any around, we could certainly use their help.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

It just 'got loose'.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Completely on accident, yes.

[had_not_lived]

[THIS COMMENT DOESN'T EXIST. But Neil is saying 'Oh, crap.']

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

[This is Rosella having a dozen more important things to think about than putting two and two together to equal Neil's lack of virginity. HE IS SAFE FOR THE MOMENT.]

ELITE SQUAD OF VIRGINS!

[doujin-dork.livejournal.com]

Uh, what?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Pardon?

[inmyothertights]

Tommy can help.

In fact I think it's morally imperative that he help.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Oh, can he? Yes, please, that would be wonderful, thank you so much!

voice;

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

Well.

[Pause.]

That certainly explains why the blokes weren't allowed near the unicorns in class.

voice;

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

It has a bit more to do with the chastity than whether the person is a boy or a girl, I should think. But I suppose that's true, even so.

[followyoutohell]

A unicorn, Miss Rosella?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid so, Riff. One...er, seems to have gotten out of the zoo.

[heelsandlaw.livejournal.com]

So let me get this straight. You're saying the unicorn attacked me 'cause I'm not a virgin?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, er...I wouldn't put it exactly that way, but yes, that's rather the gist of it, I'm afraid.