primrosella | Quest 240

[Voice Post]

[The audio snaps on with a click, but there is a somewhat awkward pause before any speaking occurs; then, after some hesitant shuffling, Rosella clears her throat and begins.]

Yes, well, er. I'm sure that several people have noticed by now that there's, um...that there seems to be a unicorn on the loose in the City. And, er, that's exactly so, because it turns out that one got loose from the zoo the other day, and I'm sure that the poor thing is terribly frightened, and that's why it's been causing so much...er, trouble.

[Have another awkward pause.]

In any case, it seems that it's...well, as unicorns tend to do, it seems this one isn't exactly fond of anyone that's--

[ANOTHER PAUSE.]

That is, it hasn't been hurting the...um, maidens of the City, as it were.

[Look, her awkwardness right now is palpable, okay?]

So, um, it would be the wise and sensible thing to do, I think, for anyone that's married or not...er, chaste, to use as much caution as possible when going out and about places today.

[Here is a pause, in which Rosella fidgets a bit and then clears her throat again.]

And if there are any...virtuous maidens--or boy maidens, I suppose, though it might take better to girls, just the same--that would be willing to help in subduing the poor thing and getting him back to the zoo where he belongs, please do let me know, and I'd be so very grateful for the help.

[And with that public service announcement completed, Rosella shuts off her Network device with a relieved click.]

[OOC: Unicornanigans! Just in time for Christmas. ELITE SQUAD OF VIRGINS, this is your recruitment post! And in the spirit of the curse today, feel free to threadjack everywhere, discuss with everyone, try to make Rosella actually say the word "virgin" (if you CAN)...and just generally have fun!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Someone did suggest that, yes--apples with, er, drugs in them, to make him more docile and less likely to attack when we try to catch him. It does seem like a fine idea, doesn't it?

Well I hadn't actually thought of drugging him, but that doesn't seem like a bad plan. I think you've mostly got to worry about luring him out of... wherever he is and getting him to stay long enough. Maybe you should try to herd him into a corner or something.

I was rather hoping to surround him with v--with maidens, actually, and then he wouldn't be able to get away because we'd have him penned in like that. But that'd take an awful lot of maidens, and I'm not sure how many there ar--how many we can get, rather.

Rosella, just say virgins.

I really don't think that's necessary, Claire.

Why can't you say it?

Well, it's hardly proper!

It's just a word! And it's not improper. Virgin, virgin, virgin. See, it's not hard.

I suppose I'm just old-fashioned, then.

[She is trying so hard not to laugh.]

I'm sorry. One day you're gonna say it, and it's gonna be liberating.

There are plenty other, more polite ways to say the exact same thing. It's only common courtesy.

It's not exactly an impolite thing, you know. Not where I come from.

But why? Surely it isn't the sort of thing people just...talk about?

Well, no one really goes around introducing themselves that way, but... I mean, we have sex ed in school when we're, like, ten. It doesn't exactly come up in conversation on a regular basis, but it's not some taboo topic either.

Ten! Goodness, why would you need to know about anything like that at ten?!

[There might be a groan. This is like actually having the sex talk.]

To prepare you for, you know... I mean some girls hit puberty at like eleven, Rosella. Besides, it's probably better to have the sex talk when you're younger than wait until later.

I don't think it'd be better at all. It's certainly not the sort of thing I'd want to talk about.

It's really not that big of a deal. My parents had the sex talk with me when I was younger. It's awkward but... it's like a right of passage. It's really not that bad. And it's really not a big deal to say virgin.

Perhaps that's just one more difference between modern things and old-fashioned ones, then.

Did your parents not have that talk with you?

[She has sort of operated on the belief that that constant was always, well... constant, no matter the world. Now she's starting to feel kind of like a hussy or something.]

[Or, y'know, Rosella's just a massive prude. Though presumably her mother would've begun to clue her in once marriage was looming on the horizon.]

No, of course not.

Really?

[No, really, she can't believe this. Even Ginny got the sex talk.]

I wasn't even eighteen when I left home! And I know Mother was starting to mention marriage and all, but I certainly didn't have any prospects, and there were plenty of more important things to be worrying about, anyway!

Okay, I'm sorry! I didn't mean any - I wasn't trying to -

[She sincerely hopes she's not going to have to sit down and be the one to do this.]

It's really not a big deal if you didn't. I'm just... kind of surprised that's all. Sorry.

I honestly didn't think it was such a--

[Um. That is...]

I'm really a bit surprised there don't seem to be more people around who...er...

[Pause.]

Well, I suppose it just makes me odd in one more way, then.

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