Quest 240

[primrosella]

[Voice Post]

[The audio snaps on with a click, but there is a somewhat awkward pause before any speaking occurs; then, after some hesitant shuffling, Rosella clears her throat and begins.]

Yes, well, er. I'm sure that several people have noticed by now that there's, um...that there seems to be a unicorn on the loose in the City. And, er, that's exactly so, because it turns out that one got loose from the zoo the other day, and I'm sure that the poor thing is terribly frightened, and that's why it's been causing so much...er, trouble.

[Have another awkward pause.]

In any case, it seems that it's...well, as unicorns tend to do, it seems this one isn't exactly fond of anyone that's--

[ANOTHER PAUSE.]

That is, it hasn't been hurting the...um, maidens of the City, as it were.

[Look, her awkwardness right now is palpable, okay?]

So, um, it would be the wise and sensible thing to do, I think, for anyone that's married or not...er, chaste, to use as much caution as possible when going out and about places today.

[Here is a pause, in which Rosella fidgets a bit and then clears her throat again.]

And if there are any...virtuous maidens--or boy maidens, I suppose, though it might take better to girls, just the same--that would be willing to help in subduing the poor thing and getting him back to the zoo where he belongs, please do let me know, and I'd be so very grateful for the help.

[And with that public service announcement completed, Rosella shuts off her Network device with a relieved click.]


[OOC: Unicornanigans! Just in time for Christmas. ELITE SQUAD OF VIRGINS, this is your recruitment post! And in the spirit of the curse today, feel free to threadjack everywhere, discuss with everyone, try to make Rosella actually say the word "virgin" (if you CAN)...and just generally have fun!]

Comments

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Well, if that is the custom with unicorns, then it does make sense. You'd know better than I would, certainly.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

It is, I'm afraid. And all the kissing that went on yesterday likely didn't help anything, either, considering.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it didn't, but I'm not sure quite how technical a unicorn's definition of a 'chaste' person might be.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, for what it's worth, it didn't attack me. And I don't think it will unless I outright provoke it, either.

[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I'm rather glad to hear that.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I, um...I don't suppose you'd be willing to come help us try to catch it, though, would you? We really ought to get him back to the zoo as soon as possible, and the more people we have to help, the better.

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[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

I don't think that would be a good idea, Rosella.

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[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I know you're not fond of magical things, but really, I'm at my wit's end for ideas, and we can't just let him run all over the place like this forever.

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[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Yes, well, I wouldn't be of any use at all unless you'd like it to have a target to try and attack.

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[primrosella.livejournal.com]

...

...Oh.

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[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

So while I do hope that you'll be able to catch it easily, but I won't be of much help.

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[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, no, not unless you try to defile me and it comes storming in to visit vengeance upon you, I suppose.

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[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

And I should rather like to avoid that, thank you.

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[primrosella.livejournal.com]

That'd be for the best, I should think.

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[misterblackbird.livejournal.com]

Good hunting, then, I suppose.

[Private || Unhackable]

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, with a little luck, I'm sure we can get this all sorted out. And I'll let you know how we do, of course.