Quest 240

[primrosella]

[Voice Post]

[The audio snaps on with a click, but there is a somewhat awkward pause before any speaking occurs; then, after some hesitant shuffling, Rosella clears her throat and begins.]

Yes, well, er. I'm sure that several people have noticed by now that there's, um...that there seems to be a unicorn on the loose in the City. And, er, that's exactly so, because it turns out that one got loose from the zoo the other day, and I'm sure that the poor thing is terribly frightened, and that's why it's been causing so much...er, trouble.

[Have another awkward pause.]

In any case, it seems that it's...well, as unicorns tend to do, it seems this one isn't exactly fond of anyone that's--

[ANOTHER PAUSE.]

That is, it hasn't been hurting the...um, maidens of the City, as it were.

[Look, her awkwardness right now is palpable, okay?]

So, um, it would be the wise and sensible thing to do, I think, for anyone that's married or not...er, chaste, to use as much caution as possible when going out and about places today.

[Here is a pause, in which Rosella fidgets a bit and then clears her throat again.]

And if there are any...virtuous maidens--or boy maidens, I suppose, though it might take better to girls, just the same--that would be willing to help in subduing the poor thing and getting him back to the zoo where he belongs, please do let me know, and I'd be so very grateful for the help.

[And with that public service announcement completed, Rosella shuts off her Network device with a relieved click.]


[OOC: Unicornanigans! Just in time for Christmas. ELITE SQUAD OF VIRGINS, this is your recruitment post! And in the spirit of the curse today, feel free to threadjack everywhere, discuss with everyone, try to make Rosella actually say the word "virgin" (if you CAN)...and just generally have fun!]

Comments

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I see. Animals don't escape from the zoo that much, do they?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well...no, I should think not, no. But I suppose there's a first time for everything?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I suppose there must be.

Sorry I can't help catching him. I could help explain to you what a maidenhead is, though, if you like.

1/2

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Oh, drat it all, aren't there any people preserving their virtue around here?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

...Is it different than what it sounds like?

1/2

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I'm thirty-one. If I'd preserved it that long it would be pickled.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

It's not the head of a maiden.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Even so, it'd be the proper thing to do.

Is it something important, then?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

My mother would agree with you. Thousands wouldn't.

Nope, it's more or less useless.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

My mother would agree with your mother. And so would everyone else, back home.

Then what is it?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Sorry. Twenty years virtuous was around about my limit.

Something a woman, and only a woman, loses part of the first time she has sex. Which is why you're getting people confused about boy maidens.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, I should hope it's not that way for everyone, since I'll be twenty myself in a few months.

...Oh.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I had different reasons. Don't worry.

...Has anyone ever sat down and explained the... basic procedure, to you?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Explained the--

[BRB FLUSTERED.]

Um. No, I--no, certainly not, it's--that sort of thing really isn't--of course not, no.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

It's worth knowing, even if you're not planning on doing it for a while.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd...imagine I'd rather figure it out once I was married, wouldn't I?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Relying on that has caused people problems in the past. I could ask a female colleague to go over the principles of the thing with you sometime.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

...Are all modern girls really so open about this sort of thing?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Modern women who are doctors have to be.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I...even so, I think I'd, um, better not. I'm certain it won't be a concern anytime soon, anyway, so it'd save time on everyone's part if...since there's no need for it, really.